FANNYBAWS

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Mar 2016, 21:32, Reply)

can we have the next QOTW as Irony?

(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 7 Mar 2016, 9:47, 3 replies)

Question of the Reem
"I'm not a confrontational person. I'll only ever confrontate someone if it's for a purpose. I wouldn't confrontate someone for no reason", says famous telly person Joseph Chelmsford.

Tell us about the time you were 'peng', 'reem' or indeed 'mint'.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 4 Mar 2016, 20:01, 4 replies)

( $$ ✅, Wed 2 Mar 2016, 21:32, 2 replies)

Where did I leave my glasses?

(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Wed 2 Mar 2016, 14:43, Reply)

Where did I leave my keys?

(uncle_bud is not the jelly roll king., Wed 2 Mar 2016, 14:43, Reply)

Unplug the Jewnbox and do us all a favour

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 2 Mar 2016, 8:44, Reply)

He’s spent 26 years living on the UK’s best-known street – but this father and lifeboat station volunteer is as much about water as he is soap ...

You’ve been on Coronation Street since you were about 15 – what’s it been like to grow up in the spotlight?
It’s got some amazing elements but I don’t think I can explain exactly how odd it is too. Now I’m a dad, I’d probably caution my own children about some aspects of being in show business.
When I started, I had no acting experience. I’d snuck into school assembly late one day, just in time to hear about this unusual chance to be on a TV show. These days there are so many chances to have a brush with fame, but back then it was a big deal for a kid.
Some of the other actors took me under their wings a bit, but mostly the advice was: ‘Learn your lines and say them like you mean them – go!’ So I learned on the job. I certainly didn’t think I’d still be on the show 26 years later.

What’s your connection with Trearddur Bay – it’s pretty far from the fictional town of Weatherfield near Manchester, isn’t it?
As a kid, I used to go on family holidays to Salcombe in Devon with our little pram dinghy and later our 19ft yacht, which dad kitted out himself. After my first pay cheques started coming in from Coronation Street, I bought a little speedboat, and eventually a motor yacht.
In fact, when I was a teenager, I used to spend all Summer in the Lake District on a sports boat, then pop off an hour down the road to film the show, and come right back to the lake.
I’ve always loved boats, water and speed and when I went to stay with friends in Anglesey as an adult, I just fell in love with it. It’s unbelievably beautiful – almost like the Mediterranean when the weather’s right.

You’re a member of the Trearddur Bay lifeboat shore crew. How did that happen?
I’m good friends with a crew member on Trearddur Bay lifeboat, and he showed me round the station.
They asked me to be a sort of ambassador or patron, but I wanted to do more than that and it escalated. I’m not there to help as often as I’d like, but when I am, my role is to help get the lifeboat in and out of the water, wash it down and help keep it in good nick.
Of course I’d love to be actual lifeboat crew but I’m mostly based in Manchester, so that important role needs to go to somebody much closer to the station.

Why do you support the lifeboats?
I see the RNLI crews as comparable to the emergency services – even the military – in terms of their courage and their selflessness. Except the lifeboat crews are almost all volunteers.
I’ve been to the Holyhead Maritime Museum a few times now, and it’s just unbelievable: the conditions those guys used to row out in in these little, fragile looking boats!
It’s a genuine honour to be a part of the shore crew, and I have so much respect for the supporters, fundraisers, lifeboat crew and all the other volunteers who are involved in any way with such a valuable organisation.
Particularly around Anglesey where I’ve spent so many happy holidays, the seas can be really dangerous – we’re so much better off knowing that the RNLI’s lifesaving service is there.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 1 Mar 2016, 22:14, Reply)

I liked one of the answers, what should I do?
You should click the 'I like this' link underneath the answer. When the question is closed at the end of the week, the most popular stories will be shown on the first page of the archive.

The best of these stories will also make it into the newsletter too.
( $$ ✅, Tue 1 Mar 2016, 16:09, Reply)

Can I answer one of the old questions?
Sorry, but once the question is closed, no more answers can be added.
( $$ ✅, Tue 1 Mar 2016, 16:09, Reply)

Question of the week
Every week we set a new question and ask you to answer it with your stories and anecdotes. It was originally set up to provide material for the now finished B3ta Radio Show, but it proved so popular that we brought it back.
( $$ ✅, Tue 1 Mar 2016, 16:09, Reply)

I was served by a chap with a home made, possibly prison cell, tattoo on his neck.
It was quite clearly at least 20 years old and this ghastly specimen was a proud supporter of West Yorkshire's finest, for upon his neck the legend was borne...Leed's.

The perverse pastimes and passions of the working class never cease to amuse me. Much like their proud history of neck-based illiteracy.

Association football, how perfectly vile.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 1 Mar 2016, 14:14, 7 replies)

Cruffins
Muffin on one side, crumpet on the other. I'm looking for investors
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 29 Feb 2016, 10:04, 9 replies)

Lock-in vegan 8-bit chipjewn gig at the local coffee shop

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 26 Feb 2016, 7:21, 3 replies)

JEWS DID THIS

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 21:45, Reply)

bit anti-semitic here

( $$ ✅, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 21:31, Reply)

Jejewn.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 25 Feb 2016, 19:34, Reply)

I had an ex who thought you put the white bit under the pizza in the oven with it. The foam. She was a dozy sod. Nice tits, though.

( Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Wed 24 Feb 2016, 20:53, 8 replies)

i thought 'pigeon' had a 'd' in it until recently
(terryhoosh remembers when this was all fields, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 18:44, 2 replies)

I thought a silver service was when an old lady wanked you off

( $$ ✅, Tue 23 Feb 2016, 16:57, 2 replies)

I thought we'd have a new question, each week,
and that the answers would be funny, or interesting to read.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 22 Feb 2016, 13:26, 12 replies)

i believed
the children were our future
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 21 Feb 2016, 17:08, 7 replies)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 21 Feb 2016, 10:20, 2 replies)

i am so ignorant
that i thought this weeks question was over.
I came here to tell my story for next week's QOTW, "Animals that speak foreign languages".
(hiraeth SPACE £19.99. I say yer buy one yer get one free, Sat 20 Feb 2016, 23:25, Reply)

Animals owned by humans

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 19 Feb 2016, 23:32, 1 reply)

Humans that own aminals

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 19 Feb 2016, 23:32, Reply)

willy willy bum bum

( $$ ✅, Fri 19 Feb 2016, 17:05, 6 replies)

I used to think that my body was made of bones and blood
literally if you cut my arm off or leg off it would just be a white inner core with a red outer core. Think Desperate Dan in the comic eating a pie, just white pie crust and brown meat.

Then I had a life changing encounter with a large dog and lost most of my left arm when I was 14. That made me change my belief that it was just bone, blood and skin.

I realised it was fucking painful, and skin, and blood, and muscle, and PAIN, more pain than i have ever cared to experience again.

While i was having my lower left arm reattached the guy in the bed next to me, and i remember this vividly, was seriously having an ignorant as fuck moment or if i can call it this, he was being a stupid dog owner and therefore ignorant by default.

While he was having 7 yes (seven) of his fingers reattached because he put his hands in-between his own dogs fighting, he asked "are my dogs ok? It wasn't their fault"

I thought...As the morphine was kicking in...it was your fault pal.

100%
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 18 Feb 2016, 3:56, 3 replies)

I used to think that sitting down was safe
But then one time when I sat down in primary school, I cracked my head somehow.
(foolish made himself look like a fool on, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 21:55, 1 reply)

I suppose I shouldn't give the satisfaction,
but this is the last time I will ever visit this site.

So long B3ta, thanks for the laughs.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Feb 2016, 8:33, 8 replies)