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"Touch my bum, this is life", glowers Richard "Interw3bz" McBeef. I was recently asked "What colour was your hair?", which made me feel well old. Tell us about moments when you realised you were knocking on a bit. Conversely, perhaps you are a sprightly young whippersnapper who is exasperated by the older folks: do tell.

(, Mon 25 Apr 2016, 15:51)
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I found a copy of Ministry of sound
2000 in a CD shop in birkenhead. It was the same copy i had when i was in Uni. Which i had lost, or had become too scratched to listen to. It was even still in a celophane wrapper. Amazed, I put it on in the car home for my 12 yr old son. These are classics, I told him.

Getting the first tune up, I quickly realised this was one of the shit songs, so i skipped after 20 seconds... the 2nd song was the same.... Then the 3rd was Zombie nation, which was ok for about a minute and it started to annoy me... Alice Deejay was 4th, which was great until that also started to annoy me...

3 mins later I was skipping out of song 21 and the CD returned to song No.1

Bollocks I thought... They were proper tunes when i was a kid, and I used to make my whole family put up with the music from the backroom everytime i played on the Playstation.

Took the CD out of the player, and returned to BBC Radio 2. ELO mr blue sky was on, which we both sang all the way home.
(, Tue 26 Apr 2016, 16:28, 6 replies)
I was still eighteen in my own mind for around the last two decades.
Then I went back into education, and now spend my days around actual young people, who are a bunch of annoying twats. It's cured me of thinking I'm still young.
(, Thu 5 May 2016, 8:03, Reply)
I can remember when the Queen still looked fuckable
I miss 2014
(, Thu 28 Apr 2016, 11:42, Reply)
Shortly after Oscar Pistorius was sentenced to five years for culpable homicide
Rather than the expected verdict of guilty of murder, I overheard a group of students at the university at which I work
have the following conversation.

Student one - Oh em gee! Did you hear about Oscar Pistorius only getting five years!

Student two - yeh man, he totally got away with murder

Student three - Yeh well! My mum was telling me about this guy called O J Simpson who got away with murder even though every one knew he did it!

This was the exact moment at which I stopped feeling young.
(, Mon 25 Apr 2016, 20:38, Reply)
Bollocks to this
Someone give me the keys to the New Question button and I'll make sure we've got a new topic each week.
(, Thu 12 May 2016, 13:16, 17 replies)
I hope Dr Skagra dies in a fire.

(, Sun 1 May 2016, 15:49, 2 replies)
I don't feel old
Recently, one of my best friends died of cancer, what came as a shock was the realisation that he was in his early seventies.

My partner is now in her fifties and her son and his wife have a son of their own. Not feeling overly pleased about being grandparents at such a young age, it was pointed out to me that it is twenty one years since I went to university as a mature student, at the same age that her son is now.

Other things that creep up and remind us that we are old, my mountain bike has Deore thumb shifters on it, some younger riders don't know what they are. My Motorbike is now a teenager and is developing the issues that classic bikes start to get! Recently I was complaining to a friend about my failing (now failed) desk top computer, then it was pointed out to me that it was old enough to have had the Y2K problem!

Oh dear. Oh well, maybe it is time to stock up on adult nappies! Fuck that, I am off to play with my Lego and listen to heavy metal, just like I did when I was sixteen (back in the 80s!).
(, Fri 29 Apr 2016, 13:43, Reply)
Pube
I noticed my first white pube on the day of my father's funeral. That made me feel very old. There were tears in my eyes as I flushed it down the toilet. Not because I was sad at coming face to face with own mortality, but because it stung like buggery when I pulled it out.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2016, 10:01, Reply)
I had a record delivered to work, and accidentally left it at the self scan checkout in Sainsbury's
When I realised my error I phoned them. The majority of the call was spent explaining to the child at the customer service desk what a record is.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2016, 9:03, 9 replies)
The brides are looking younger these days
I photograph weddings for a living and for a long time I've been aware that the couples are significantly younger than me, but I've now reached an age where even people getting married for a second time are significantly younger than me and have children that are grown and already married.

On the plus side, most of these youngsters don't own a camera and just use the shitty ones on their phones, so when they see the pictures I've taken, it's a bit like bringing fire to savages.
(, Tue 26 Apr 2016, 18:10, Reply)

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