My name is Turtles Head and I am addicted to food
There, that's said it, I feel better now.

In my defense, I have been on prescribed steroids for the last few months, and a side effect of them is that I am constantly hungry. No matter what or how much I eat, I never feel full. Anything is fair game, we have had to buy 3 selection boxes for my niece as I ate the first two.

Virtually every waking moment is spent wondering what I can eat. A typical example of thoughts in my head upon waking up 'Oh God I'm starving...oooh I can see my wifes boobs....they remind me of eggs....mmmmm eggs and bacon, I'm starving...I wonder if she will let me touch them.....ooooh melons....I wonder if we have got any fruit.....I could murder an apple..... mmmm apple pie, I'm starving' etc etc all day long.

Today I reached a new low.

I was downstairs and noticed that one of the advent calendars had not been opened for the last two days. So I opened the windows and thought 'Saffy will never know, she's only 4, who will she tell'.

So I ate the chocolates.

Except they weren't ordinary chocolates, they were special dietary ones specifically made for Saffy.

Saffy is our Weimeraner. It was an advent calendar for dogs.

This morning I was so hungry I ate dog chocolate.
(turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:18, 6 replies)

you can get
advent calendars for DOGS???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:18, closed)

Oh yes
go into any Pets at Home or similar and there will be aisles full of crap like that.
Makes me feel starving hungry just thinking about it.
(turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 11:47, closed)

This needs to win
It just does.
( MatJ LOOK, Fri 19 Dec 2008, 19:19, closed)

That's me
I went on drugs for it and the craving, the NEED to eat went away. I had to go off them because I couldn't sleep without sleeping pills and my doc refused to let me have anymore.
So now I'm scoffing down huge amounts of Christmas nougat, Norwegian Xmas cookies, chocolate covered nuts, cheese-turkey-and-honey-mustard-on-onion-bagel sandwiches and getting fatter by the second.

Someone help me, please! Pass the salt.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Sun 21 Dec 2008, 5:25, closed)

WTF?
I feel you on this, I really do, but seriously, was there NOTHING else in the house? You couldn't have gone to the kitchen and eaten something for humans?
(Sammyhaswoefullyneglectedyou, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 22:34, closed)

I was in the kitchen
In fact I had not long since had my breakfast, but the simple fact of the matter was that at that moment in time my brain was still craving food of any description, there was chocolate in my hand, and logic went out the window.

Tdub
'Getting fatter by the second' - I know what you mean. I have put on a stone and a half.Last week we went out and I could only get in one shirt I owned.
I have now started buying a bag each of satsumas and apples per day and snacking on them instead. I'll probably get screaming squits, but at least it will be a bit healthier.
(turtles head is touching cloth poked a dwarf on the forehead at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:29, closed)