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Back when I was a moody teenager I took a cheap flight that involved changing planes and having to go through security again. My bags were pre-checked so, when I set off the metal detector, I honestly said to the security guy that I had no idea what had set it off.

Until, that is, he searched me and found the metal knife and fork stamped "KLM" I'd nicked off the previous flight.

Tell us your best airport stories.

(, Fri 3 Mar 2006, 10:09)
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I was on holiday in France with my girlfriend and she got a call from the American Embassy in London to let her know that her interview for a green card was that thursday (they'd told her that she'd get 2 weeks notice at least but actually she only got 2 days). So anyway, she had to book a new flight and as I was going straight home on the monday, I took the big bag with most of our stuff and she just took a small rucksack with a few essentials. When I got to the (shite budget Irish airline company who will remain nameless but which rhymes with Brianair) check in desk at Beauvais, I explained that my girlfriend couldn't make it so there was only one person checking in and not two. They weighed my bag and told me it was too heavy. I was confused because it had been fine on the way to France. The check in girl told me that as there was only one person now instead of two, I only had half the luggage allowance I'd had before. I'd have to leave some stuff behind or pay a charge. I got pretty angry and pointed out that I had two tickets which were both paid for and so I should get two people's luggage allowance. She wouldn't budge - it quickly degraded into a slanging match, me shouting "two tickets" and her snapping in a scornfull french accent "one person". I insisted on getting the manager and he was ruder and had less English than her. He told me they couldn't let me use the second ticket as they were going to re-sell it! There was no persuading them.
My carry on luggage was well under the allowance though and I realised that my total luggage (carry on plus main bag) was under the total weight allowance. If I could transfer enough stuff out of my main bag and into my carry on bag I'd be ok (ridiculous I know but there was no other option). I'd been holding up the queue for ages by this point, so I went off to the side and started trying to shift my stuff around. About half way through this operation I looked around and saw that a pair of my girlfriend's red knickers had fallen out of the bag and had been lying on the floor next to me for the last 5 minutes or so, much to the amusement of the long queue of people next to me. Because I'd moved away from the desk, none of them would have overheard my earlier argument. To all intents and purposes I'd just been busted as a knicker wearing weirdo.
(, Mon 6 Mar 2006, 17:08, closed)

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