Not really about where life went wrong, but a tale of epic disaster anyway
Many years ago, I used to do a lot of video stuff. And, inevitably, over a pint or several, a friend announced that he wanted to make a film.

For some weeks he brought me script ideas, and we played around with it until we had something that seemed to work. I was still dubious, however, until he introduced me to the two girls he had in mind to star in it, along with himself of course. Now steady on at the back there, it wasn't that kind of film - no nudity was planned. It is, remarkably, possible to make a video starring two girls that doesn't involve any kind of sex. I know, weird, huh?

Anyway, I went around to meet these girls, and was immediately impressed: they had a real chemistry together, they were funny, creative, enthusiastic, and the camera loved them. I started to think that we might just be able to make something here.

So, a few weeks later, we set up the shoot. We had access to an empty flat for the weekend, so I planned a two-day shoot, setting up in the morning and filming in the afternoons. We had about ten people involved, and remarkably, they all turned up.

That was the last thing that went well. It became immediately apparent that something was wrong with the two girls. There was no chemistry; in fact they barely looked at one another. It turned out that they'd had a blazing row the night before, and were not on speaking terms. One of them was consoling herself by taking large gulps from a bottle of vodka, the other was simply glaring at her and delivering her lines in a sort of clenched-toothed snarl.

After giving up on the girls' scene, I decided to focus on another bit for a while. A guy had a very small part (fnarr): all he had to do was to take a pull on a large comedy spliff and deliver a single line. In the interests of veracity, he insisted on using a real spliff. This turned out to be more methodone than method, as he could not seem to deliver the line correctly, and by the time we got to about take 38, he was incapable of speaking at all. I eventually left him slumped in the corner mumbling incoherently to a rubber plant.

I decided to see if the girls were doing any better. I discovered that one of them was about to be date-raped by one of the other cast members, who was taking maximum possible advantage of the rapidly reducing level in her vodka bottle.

At this point I gave up, and told everyone to come back the next day. I hoped that things might be better in the morning. Fat chance. The only thing I remember about the next day is that one of the main characters had decided to have his long hair cut short on Saturday night, so looked completely different. The rest of the day is a complete blur.

It was my last attempt to make a film. I've never even watched the pitiful amount of footage we did manage to capture. I gave up video work shortly after.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:17, 3 replies)

Star wars?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:20, closed)

No, that one got finished
...several times
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:38, closed)

It's like a microcosm of communism or somesuch
All looks splendid on paper.

In practice, well, ...
(roysin, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:49, closed)