When Great Danes Attack
When I was a single fella I used to have a great dane, lovely animal, came from rescue, a bit dim, but not a bad bone in her...
In the 11 years I had her, she was walked (almost)every morning, rain or shine & it was the high point of her (very lazy) day.
One morning I had a truly monumental hangover & simply couldn't be arsed to get up & walk her.
Living in a bungalow with such a large animal, you have to have a few ground rules: the dog isn't allowed into the bedroom being rule numero uno.
On this morning, rule numero uno was ignored & a large sad looking face appeared inches from my own. As I yawned she chose that moment to sneeze, right into my open mouth.
One lazy, hungover twat suddenly found the energy to get up very quickly indeed & rush to the bathroom, trying very hard not to get reaquainted with last nights beverages.
Needless to say, the dog's tail was wagging fit to flail a masochist into exctasy; her lovely owner had got up in a hurry just to give her a walk... and I did after using most of a bottle of mouthwash...
(stygof, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 6:11, 2 replies)

Bogart
I too used to have a (beautiful but dim) great dane, name of Bogart. He always managed to get into the bedroom and loved nothing better than to take a running jump and land on your bladder. All 14 stone of him!
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 12:24, closed)

oh dear
I read "but not a bad bone in her" as "but not bad to bone her".

Certainly changed the whole tone of the story....
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 1 May 2008, 1:59, closed)