When spiders attack...each other
It was about 4 in the morning and I'd gotten up to take a leak, bleary-eyed and a bit stoned and pissed. I went into our downstairs toilet, switched on the light, lifted the seat, and let nature take its course. Near to one of my bare feet, a massive house spider crawled out from the skirting board. Now I'm not scared of spiders, so I thought "You stay there and I'll stay here and we'll be fine." Then a second spider emerged from the skirting, identical to the first. They circled each other warily, then began fighting in a writhing-ball-of-tangled-legs-zipping-across-the-lino-like-nobody's-business kind of way. I hurriedly finished pissing and backed away from the little bastards, now chasing each other up and down the wall, across the floor and around the base of the toilet, not realising that the toilet door opened inwards, and to leave I would have to go forwards to get out - far too close to the hairy wee buggers for my liking. The spiders didn't seem to notice though, they were far more interested in trying to kill each other.

The next morning I found a spider corpse next to the toilet, leaving me with the disquieting knowledge that there was still one massive spider in the house - and it was a murderer.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 6 Jun 2005, 12:33, Reply)