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This is a question Awesome Sickies

A colleague has been off work for two weeks now - apparently he's got something they can't diagnose, (although they know for sure it's not Legionnaires, Malaria, BSE or AIDS, he's supposedly in isolation). We are all sure he's merely sitting in the sun waiting for the World Cup to come on the telly.

What have you invented to get off work?

(, Fri 9 Jun 2006, 7:40)
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Guinness-itus
Once worked with a guy who's alcohol intake was the stuff of pure legend (Hi Al!), he'd be out on the p*ss nearly every night of the week and consequently had a rather interesting habit of phoning the office after-hours and leaving very drunken voicemails, then phoning in at about 8:50 claiming to be ill.

Now most of us tried to cover for him (to be fair, we were all on the skive aswell, and we hated our boss) and it was my job to check the voicemail system in the morning and delete the evidence - until I took a few days off to visit the homeland...

..on my return, I found my collegues waiting to tell me the tale of a certain Tuesday morning, when the usual drunken voicemail wasn't deleted and the boss picked it up. Upon phoning poor Alex and demanding that he got to the office with 30 minutes, or be minus a job - Alex eventually turned up, still p*ssed out of his tree from the 12 hour Guinness session of the previous night - only to projectile vomit over our boss, his desk, laptop, brand new mobile phone - and this was no normal sick, it was the result of what we christened 'guinnessitus' - black, creamy and with a smell only satan could muster...

From then on Guinness was a banned substance at any works drinkup, and Alex managed to keep his job by claiming he had an reaction with some antibiotics he was taking at the time... still used to come in stinking of booze from time to time though...
(, Wed 14 Jun 2006, 21:41, closed)

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