Coming up for four years... This may also be as long as it will take to read the below post. Which is shit. I wouldn't bother if I were you
Although I lurked for a while beforehand. Was directed here by the IT guy at my old place of work (The Glum Reaper if anyone cares) and spent my working hours trawling through the old QOTWs and then one day stumbled across a weird and wonderful place called Off Topic.

This was back in the days before Bert was ousted as an incestuous paedophile had an epic bertdown and tried to reinvent himself on a daily basis, so new members were welcomed rather than subjected to howls of FUCK OFF BERT.

OT wasn't the deserted wasteland it is now, only populated by moaning old men who shun anything after the 1970's, it was filled with a smörgåsbord of seriously disturbed people who made Bernard Manning look like a slightly fatter Mary Whitehouse.

The working hours were whittled away by talking about cake and other rubbish and I was made aware of the Calendar. A place where you could actually go and meet these people. Of your own free will. And apparently not get placed on any kind of list for doing so. So I drove to Manchester for a Halloween bash which had people from across the boards. The possible highlight was Enzyme misspelling his name. Although him and Boss Keloid dancing like drunken bears possibly comes a close second. I then stayed with Warmfuzzyfeeling (who was as lovely as her name sounds) and then the next day drove to Leeds to watch the last race of the F1 season with Boss Keloid and ate cake and revelled in the moment Massa's team realised he hadn't won and went from happy to sad in a brilliant ohnosecond.

From then on I was addicted and frequented more bashes, mostly in London where other awesome B3tans gave me a place to stay. Then I got so addicted I moved to London and lived with some B3tans (OH HAI GONZ!) so I could go to move bashes.

I've seen Sexface get shunned at the bash which lead to Catface and CHCB hook up and have a baby and get married (I've also seen the baby and was at the wedding but luckily they were able to control themselves enough that I didn't have to watch them hooking up).

I've seen Kaol go from a stabby mantroll to managing somehow to catch a delightful welsh mongwrangler (Hi Mel!) and almost manage to turn into a useful member of society.

I've spent awesome Sundays watching the F1 and eating far too much bacon (a kilogram of bacon, fresh from Borough market) with lovely Clendrix and the he-must-be-alive-he's-blinking Wooks.

I've taken ridiculous road trips with Labs all over the country whilst listening to insane music and having a mohawked, tattooed, face pierced man scowling and pointing at middle lane drivers. Or on occasion seeing how many times we could loop them before they pulled over (they never pull over the fuckers).

I've had Al insult the size of my vagina whilst stuffing himself full of ribs, and failed to stop laughing as he bursts into his crazy booming chuckle.

I've travelled around the country nosing at people's houses (yours was lovely BGB) and getting drunk and ridiculous and laughing so much I thought my jaw was going to fall off. Mainly after insulting Catface.

I've seen Pooflake and Captain Placid play a gig and had Pooflake serenade me (you still have my number right? Call me anytime!)

So B3ta brought me a wonderful group of friends, allowed me to move to London and has given me more stupid ridiculous memories and memes that is good for anyone.

So yeah not funny and mostly just rambling shit. But strangely B3ta has probably been the biggest influencing factor of my adult life!

I know there are loads of you who I haven't mentioned by name (Lusty did I mention you? You know I love you) but you're all fantastic.

fuck sorry ma and pa. *slurps* You both fucking rock
Apart from Bert.

Fuck off Bert.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:35, 6 replies)

I like this.
*sobs*
*wipes away a tear*
Dammit. I'm still fucking hormonal and overemotional.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 12:47, closed)

Awww...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:50, closed)

Just for you, TGB
www.flickr.com/photos/warmfuzzyfeeling/2995182706/in/photostream

And, www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdleiH-qdRE

Spit-siblings forever after drinking from the Half Pint of Awesome.

And thankyou for getting me to a service station before I pissed myself. That's what b3tafriends are for.
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 13:56, closed)

I was rather disappointed to miss the half pint of awesome.
Also, jesus christ, what a horrible picture of me - www.flickr.com/photos/warmfuzzyfeeling/2995183556/in/photostream/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 12 Sep 2011, 14:06, closed)

Awww, you beauty....

Brace yourself dearie...it won't be long and I'll be back to bother you senseless!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 12 Sep 2011, 18:56, closed)

*boob squishing hugz*
You're my favourite daughter \o/
xxx
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 18:59, closed)