Sort of a date that ended with a break up.
I was 16, he was 16 we were at college. We were sort of experimenting with our sexuality yeah and booze. We were at his parents house but prior to the parents we were at various pubs getting teen drunk. Inebriation led us back to his to listen to some new epic vinyl and of course sexual shenanigans before passing out.

I was awoken at I presumed about 4am in the morning by his very angry parents. It was actually about 9.30pm. Their son had done something very bad and I was of course to blame. He had got up naked, gone to their best room and relieved himself whilst carry a piss horn into the waste paper basket, now in the best room the parents had guests. Everyone was quite shocked, understandably. The shock was greater because the waste paper basket was a wicker variety and did not have the usual carrier bag inside the wicker (slovens) and the piss had gone onto the newly fitted carpet. to round things off he spunk farted and some shit and spunk went on the carpet. Possibly not the best way to out yourself and I was not allowed in the house ever, ever again. Miserable bastards, not like I was the one who did it.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 20:50, 13 replies)

What woud you expect?
You were the one that lead him astray.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 0:15, closed)

He was the one with a copy of Love Songs by Barbara Streisand.
I rest my case, m'lud.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 12:23, closed)

Maybe they held you responsible for injecting the semen and air into his rectum in the first place?

( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 0:59, closed)

I to am leaning towards the conclusion
that having your semen exiting from his bottom may have had something to do with their attitude towards you.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 4:25, closed)

At the very least
it somewhat weakens the 'I wasn't the one that did it' excuse.
(username failed moderation, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:06, closed)

I'll make a point of keeping a DNA testing kit to hand,
in case one of my offspring ever shits semen onto the soft furnishings.
A cautionary tale for us all.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:10, closed)

I wasn't the one who went drunk walking into the vipers nest.
I would say I hold my hand up to the spunk and air, but the holding your hand up has very different meanings.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 12:25, closed)

They should have been happy at the birth of their bottom baby grandchild

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:22, closed)

How sweet.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 12:21, closed)

I've heard that its how Politicians are made

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 14:50, closed)

'spunk fart'
Delightful mental imagery right there.
( rofl harris, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 14:49, closed)

I'm having trouble living with the fact "spunk fart"
is now a verb.
(username failed moderation, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 15:51, closed)

I hope this was after 2001
so you're not a nonce.
(cs1ca, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 21:46, closed)