Royal Ballet. Police escort. Not ideal.
I moved to Australia a couple of years back from London and met what I thought was a nice girl, if a little feisty after a few drinks, (for feisty, read abusive, spiteful, and aggressive). Anyway, deciding to take this paragon of princessly charms back to the UK to meet the folks seemed like a good idea, and given that she and my 65 year old mother both like ballet I invested in the best seats money could buy at The Royal Opera House in Covent Garden where the Royal Ballet were performing Swan Lake. Something of a classic, you'd agree.

Bear in mind this was 4 days after she'd met the family (she got drunk at my Nan's 90th and lied that my sister and niece were saying stuff about me behind my back - always likely to make her popular with the relatives as obviously I'd checked in surprise as we're very tight as a family), so I'd assumed she'd behave herself for this event.

Sizeable fail on my part.

So, a very slowly consumed 2 glasses of champagne each were imbibed by all parties pre theatre along with some nibbles in Covent Garden, and all was fine until the interval, at which point the girlfriend offered to go get the drinks.

She took her time so eventually I went to look for her and found her at the bar, in theory just getting served. Odd I thought, but maybe the queues were that bad. Anyway, she'd bought a champagne and a G&T for mum. The bell went for the next act along with a reminder that dinks couldn't be taken into the auditorium, so she necked them both. (I found out later she'd also necked shots of neat vodka and at least one other glass of champagne before me finding her.)

We got back upstairs and during the second act it got interesting. Loud talking in the silence of all the well to do people around us trying to watch the ballet, followed by telling said patrons to "fuck off" when they asked her to be quiet, followed by having a go at me for random items not related to that evening, followed by semi shouting at me for not defending her against the people asking her to please stop the noise. I told her to pipe down as she was ruining it for everyone, and said we could discuss afterwards, but that apparently wasn't acceptable - cue a fresh torrent of abuse followed by her storming out. Exactly what you want with your pensioner mum sat next to you absolutely mortified at the monstrosity her son has bought home with him.

Anyway, I had no intention of following her so sat back to try and relax through the performance, despite one very posh lady coming over at the next interval asking me very politely not to let "that lady" back in.

I'd relaxed slightly by the end of the show and was walking down the stairs when approached by an usher who enquired as to whether I was with the lady in the purple dress. With a due sense of dread I confirmed that I was, to then be told, "she's outside with the police sir, could you please follow me?"

What it seems happened was that the drunken psycho had gone for another cheeky drink to drown her sorrows (as you do), then become quite upset, and verbally abusing those who asked if se was ok. Then followed throwing pieces of fruit at random people, attempting to play the piano in the opera house bar, and I quote, "harassing a few groups of customers".

When asked to leave she started pushing the staff member who spoke to her, then took a swing at the manager when he was called to deal with the situation. The police were subsequently called and when they arrived she got physical (not like that you perverts) with one of the coppers. She'd also for some reason told them I was her husband too, which confused things even more.

Myself and mum then had to take her home despite her alternating between abuse and being upset because I wouldn't hold her hand or give her a cuddle. Personally I'd have preferred it if they'd locked her up for the night, but hey ho...

Sadly the opera house manager didn't press charges, and the lovely young lady didn't remember her behaviour in the morning.

She was however both surprised and upset that I wasn't as enthusiastic as I might have been about looking at engagement rings that weekend, and she remains to date, the only person I'm aware of that's been physically removed from The Royal Opera House by the police.

So basically a terrible date and not quite the first impression I wanted my mum to have of the girl I was shacked up with...

Epilogue:
That particular relationship finally ended a couple of months later (we were living together before the UK trip) when she broke her hand hitting me and I walked out. There was some stalking (by her), and a fake pregnancy (announced on facebook), general abuse and threats, putting all my financial documents such as mortgage etc in a skip outside the house, and threats of calling the police to tell them I'd been hitting her etc (she'd already told her family that but they didn't believe her), but luckily Ii survived to tell the tale!

Lesson(s) learned, in no small way. Finally!


(Needless to say from the above that she was stunning and the sex was amazing - blatantly why I put up with her for so long. :-/)
(Isaac Hunt., Wed 23 Oct 2013, 0:37, 17 replies)

She.sounds ace!

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 0:49, closed)

I feel your pain,
having been out with a girl scarily similar to this.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 0:56, closed)

Jesus
How do people become that mental?
( Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 1:41, closed)

I honestly don't know,
but I do know it was always someone/thing else's fault. I think in the above tale the real culprit was some form of cold and flu medicine. :)

As you'd probably guess there are lots more where this came from!
(Isaac Hunt., Wed 23 Oct 2013, 8:36, closed)

Ahh...
You can take the girl out of Queensland, but you can't take Queensland out of the girl.
Or NSW, WA, NT, Vic, ACT or Tasmania.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 2:14, closed)

Sounds more like a Kiwi to me

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 8:37, closed)

Oh no you didn't.........

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 11:57, closed)

abusive drunks are the best kind of alcholics
nice tale
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 4:28, closed)

Lots of bells ringing there. Mine ended up very differently though, I'm married to her.
My girlfriend was aggressive and nasty, but rather bafflingly it took me a while to connect it with booze. This was despite obvious warnings such as her her sister wigging out on me once for bringing the gf a bottle of Johnny Walker back from a biz trip.

What finally ended it was me videoing her in one of her booze fueled rages. She honestly had no idea of how she acted when she was pissed.

I sat her down, stuck the video on, said "This is what you are expecting me and everybody else to put up with".

She stopped drinking there and then. It wasn't like she was an alcoholic or anything, just that when she did drink, she became a monster.

That was 15 years ago. She will occasionally have a glass of wine or a beer with food, but if she starts looking like she wants another one, I'll just raise an eyebrow and she orders a coke.
(username failed moderation, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:01, closed)

I had a mate a Uni like that
He was okay at first then he got into getting pissed in a big way

He'd drink 2 bottles of thunderbird to get himself in the mood before hitting the pubs and wondered why he was loosing friends. This was before camera phones but someone had a Dictaphone. He stopped the trampjuice starter and shied away from export larger and became an altogether nicer person
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 9:17, closed)

Good idea re videoing,
however, a) towards the end she was a total bitch even when sober and it now appears a pathological liar, and b) I had no interest in fixing it or her past a certain point and was happy to walk away. I certainly wouldn't have risked marrying her!

(Glad your gamble paid off for you however. :))
(Isaac Hunt., Wed 23 Oct 2013, 12:51, closed)

I don't blame you at all.
One of the things I remember thinking was 'Why am I putting up with this'?

The vid was the final try. Luckily that worked, but I'd have done the same as you.
(username failed moderation, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 15:49, closed)

lol pussywhipped loser

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 12:17, closed)

^this^

( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 12:49, closed)

I was going to take the piss.
I do it a lot on here with stories where peiple ought to have known better.
But I think you deserve respect for not just throwing her out as she probably deserved.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 18:28, closed)

or pity for being a complete mug

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 23 Oct 2013, 20:52, closed)

I was a massive mug for a while, you're 100% right.
It took a disappointing and uncharacteristic amount of time for the penny to drop what the real issue was, (i.e. she's a cunt), as the dodgy part of the relationship lasted about 6 months in total. All the stuff that happened in the epilogue section was after I'd left but I hadn't been able to get all my stuff out and was still trying to exit the lease on the house without costing myself too much in the process.

All swiftly rectified however, and the bitchometer is now fully functioning again. Piss take away my friends, but there are worse places to be out on the pull than Sydney. :)
(Isaac Hunt., Wed 23 Oct 2013, 21:58, closed)