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This is a question Bedroom Disasters

Big Girl's Blouse asks: Drug fuelled orgies ending in a pile of vomit? Accidental spillage of Chocolate Pudding looking like a dirty protest? Someone walking in on you doing something that isn't what it looks like?... Tell us about your Bedroom Disasters

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:14)
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Extremely silent, extremely gifted, extremely weird Chinese roomate
He was... disturbing. I ended up sharing a room with the little feller 'cos I was the new bloke.

Not a word did he utter. He would just stand in the corner of the room twisting his greasy hair with his index finger, head tilted to one side looking at the floor, yet somehow looking beyond it. The smell of stale urine wafted generously around his person; his only possessions were a violin and a chess board.

And an air pistol. With which he took great joy at killing sparrows. The first time he actually spoke to me was after I walked in the room only to find him with a dinner fork in a bird's neck, saying to me in halting English and with a pained but curious look "I'm trying to survive it."

Days later we had some games of chess, at which he was very good, but after 5 or so games began to wilt; I saw an opportunity and put him in check. He looked at me across the board, picked up his air pistol and jokingly aimed it at my nuts. Assuming it wasn't loaded we both laughed and went on with the game, which he eventually won. In mock celebration he picked up the pistol and aimed at the wall, squeezed the trigger and off went a loud *crack*. His eyes went larger than mine... I still wince thinking about this.

One night I had consumed a bottle of Polish vodka, and puked it up again at various stages later, all over the rug between our beds. Later that morning I awoke to blearily see his little Chinese face hovering inches above mine.

"You... prat..." he said.

That was the second time he spoke to me.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 18:43, closed)

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