Mrs Vagabond And The Shelves Of Death
... and so it came to pass that Mrs Vagabond decreed that shelves would be put up upon the wall in the home office, that we could put boxes of paperwork upon them and be tidier in her eyes.

So up they went, and they were very bloody load-bearing shelves - 18'sq boxes weighing at least a couple of stone each.

Then it was decided that actually they should be moved up a bit, and thus the end of the rail cut off with the jigsaw to make it look nice. So it was spoken, and so it was done. In doing so, a couple of the screw holes had widened, and thus on consulting The Senior Vagabond, I put spent matches into the holes to make it tight to a new rawl plug.

Up again did the boxes go.

Now - at the time we had a computer that was so old, it used a CRT monitor! I'd loaded the Creative Suite onto it, and this had, frankly, made it shit it's pants.

The way to operate this computer was to wait until one was desperately thirsty and bored, and then turn it on. Go and boil the kettle, make a lovely cup of tea, slake one's thirst, read the paper, maybe have a biscuit, and then go and click on Potatochop.

Go and boil the kettle, make another lovely cup of tea, slake one's thirst, finish the paper, and then, if you were lucky, it would be ready to play.

And so it was that one afternoon on her day off, Mrs Vagabond switched the computer on, and went and made a cup of tea.

And woe was her and her heart filled with fear as a sound like a BOMB dropping rang in her ears. She rushed to the office to find that the shelves had in their entirity torn from the wall, leaving 2-foot wide holes, and completely crushing the machine, the monitor, and all that was good below them in turn.

She doesn't ask me to do so much DIY these days - we tend to get a working class-type in to do it for us.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:59, 2 replies)

verily I did laugh it that
clicketh I
(mersault, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 13:01, closed)

Lucky escape
If you had owned a half decent computer, your missus may not have escaped with her life. Your dedication to retaining shite technology long past the time it is no longer fit for purpose is the reason she exists.

I hope she thanked you.
(Bappage, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 14:55, closed)