Lego Nutter
Last year I was sitting alone in my basement thinking about apartheid when I came across the idea of building myself a girlfriend out of Lego. I'd seen the film 'Weird Science' so I knew that stuff like that was possible so I got to work.

After about 10 minutes I had built her lego tits and lego head. She was quite a looker but was slightly ginger. This upset me a bit and I toyed briefly with the idea of dumping her. "No Brady" I thought to myself "you cant dump a bird comprised only of lego tits and a lego head. Besides, you made her ginger! What did you do that for if you don't like gingers? Fucking idiot!"

"Good point" I said out loud in response to my own statement and carried on working. I got busy grafting her legs and arms and then begun the most important job of all - her lego fanny.
This was a work of art. "i'll give her 3 labias" I thought to myself before deciding against it and just sticking to the basics.

Soon she was completely finished and I tried to fuck her. She was having none of it and just lay there completely rigid. "Come on you Lego bastard" I bellowed in her face. Nothing.

Not even a word of thanks for building her. I got angry at this point and punched her in the tit, knocking her lego nipple clean off. It made a pinging sound as it bounced off the wall.

Still nothing!!! Couldn't believe it. "dont you ever say anything? You idiot? I don't know why I go out with you". At this point I had a moment of epiphany. I realised she was completely deranged and I decided to end it there and then. I knocked her down and built a car out of her. Vroom vroom!!
(Andrew Avetoom, Sun 19 Nov 2006, 14:19, Reply)