To see from afar
by Telly S. Cope
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 22 May 2008, 12:13, Reply)

An Egyptian Abroad: My Life as a Taxi Driver in Newcastle
By Tutan Comeoot.

/Apologies for regional-specific joke...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 May 2008, 12:13, Reply)

Privacy in the Bathroom
by Annette Curtain
(frankspencer, Thu 22 May 2008, 12:12, Reply)

Traditional Egyptian Carpentry Techniques
By Ahmed A. Shed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 May 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Thursday?
Once upon a time, I was happily married - me and Mrs Buttock owned a large hotel in rural Scotland.

And then we hired Pierre for our kitchen. At first it was almost unnoticable - a little touch of the arm here, a wink there. But I knew. And my suspicions were confirmed when I noticed she was spending a very long time in the kitchen.

"We were just talking!", she said. But why did her hair smell of garlic and onions? And why did she spend every night in the kitchen polishing the hob?

Eventually, she ran away with Pierre, back to Paris. They set up a popular restaraunt and are both now millionares.

Yes, that cook changed my wife alright.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Thu 22 May 2008, 12:08, Reply)

Welcome to Adolescence
by Aaron Myballs
(frankspencer, Thu 22 May 2008, 12:07, 1 reply)

Communicating With Cattle
by I. Ken Mooue

And I'll leave it there.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Thu 22 May 2008, 12:05, Reply)

Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories
Following on from my previous post, a book - or series of books - that I'd totally forgotten had changed my life.

My parents are totally awesome atheists/agnostics/couldn'tgiveafuckists, but in the late 70s my dad's sister got religion, and decided to share it with me by giving me a shiny pile of Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories. These heartwarming Christian tales emphasised clean living virtues, the primary of which was "BE SURE YOUR SIN WILL FIND YOU OUT".

Even though I never got religion, the fear of God was nevertheless put in me. As a result, I am clinically incapable of lying - hence my inability to perform at job interviews. What I've found since then is that if I don't say anything, that's not actually lying.

Did anyone else get these happy little stories?
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Thu 22 May 2008, 12:03, 1 reply)

Erectile Disfunction: Causes and Cures
By Mike Coxafloppin and Vi Agra

/beats self to death with plastic cupholder
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 May 2008, 12:03, Reply)

The Unknown Rodent
by A Nony-Mouse
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Thu 22 May 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Dash To The Outhouse
Written by: Willie Makit
Narrated by: Betty Woent
Illustrated by: Andy Didnt

/sorry
(SillyMoo, Thu 22 May 2008, 12:01, Reply)

Blood Sucking Insects
by Amos Quito.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Thu 22 May 2008, 12:00, Reply)

My last one...
(Apologies for the use of the word 'last' on Thursday!):

Where Is Osama Bin Laden?

By I. Mustafa Gahten
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 22 May 2008, 11:55, Reply)

The Dangers of Poor Personal Hygiene
By Chris Peacock

/runs away and doesn't look back
( Moey, Thu 22 May 2008, 11:55, Reply)

Moving to Scotland: A Guidebook for Chinese Immigrants
By Dee Yee Ken.

/Hides under barrel
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 May 2008, 11:53, 2 replies)

Fairly normal title
by Amusingly Relevant Name
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 22 May 2008, 11:51, 1 reply)

Nuclear Explosives
by Adam Baum
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 22 May 2008, 11:49, 3 replies)

Size doesn't matter: Don't let your diminutive stature hold you back.
A guide to being a massive cock, despite being a little runt.

by Prince.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 22 May 2008, 11:48, 1 reply)

Two for animal lovers...
Destructive Cats by Claude Sofa

And


The Lion Attacked by Claudia Armoff
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 22 May 2008, 11:47, Reply)

The Arabian Disco Scene
by Sheikh Yerbouti - (with a doffed cap to Frank Zappa)
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 22 May 2008, 11:46, 1 reply)

Not a Guitar!
by Amanda Lin
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 22 May 2008, 11:45, Reply)

how to shave a pig
by chris p bacon
( bazza van der trance , ooh baby baby, baby baby. Get up on this., Thu 22 May 2008, 11:45, Reply)

Rusty Bedsprings: a history of
by I.P. Nightly
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 22 May 2008, 11:45, Reply)

My life with Serbian Hookers
by Slobberdown Mycockubitch
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 22 May 2008, 11:44, 2 replies)

OK,
'How I assess urine splashes around my toilet'

by Rankin' Miss P
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 22 May 2008, 11:44, Reply)

Bears and Bottoms: our journey of discovery
by Ben Dover and Phil Mcavity
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 22 May 2008, 11:41, 3 replies)

The bumper book of fishing jokes
By J. R. Har-Har-Hartley.

/Scrapes barrel
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 May 2008, 11:41, 2 replies)

Russian Vice Girls
Written by; Myslack Knickersoffalot
Edited by; Onya Backyabitch


bindun?
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Thu 22 May 2008, 11:40, Reply)

What about those classics:
'Two Gentlemen of Kirkaldy' by Ben Doon & Phil McCavity
and the companion work:
'Two Gentlemen of Kilkenny' by Allen Fitzpatrick & Patrick Fitzallen

or 'Italian Flat-pack furniture' by Emma D'Eff

EDIT: sorry already bindun
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 22 May 2008, 11:36, Reply)

My third testicle
by the Russian, Whodyanickabollokof
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 May 2008, 11:35, 1 reply)