Double Whammy
On my graduation night from a design porfolio course I set about drinking with unusual vigour. Perhaps it was the ladies I was subconciously trying to impress or was it the raging testosterone betwixt the lads that was the root of it.
Anyways, serveral pints and tequila combos later I decided to sink a pint in one to lossen the knickers on a particularly foxy lady. What girl wouldn't be impress with such an act. 4 seconds, it was gone. One more just to prove the point. A third? Why not, eh!
I remeber going to the toilets. I dont remeber falling asleep, I vaguely remebered being bundle into the back of a cab with my teachers watching on in abject disgust. i remember the bastard cabbie kicking me out as soon as I got around the corner. Somehow I made the journey home, incredible as I did it on my hands and knees.
No time to take off clothes, into bed. Ahhhh.
An indeterminate amount of time later I woke up with a start. It hadn't happened in yea on 15 years, but I instantly recognised the heavy load weighing down my pants. Slightly more sober now I got up removed the offending articles a tossed them out the window. I took a shower a washed the turds off me, so of which had defied the laws of nature and ended up on my back and shoulders. After these terribly unpleasant ablutions and a change of sheets I hopped back into the sack. I drifted into an uneasy sleep.....
I awoke a hour or so later. Something was wrong. Surely not. I pulled back the top sheet to reveal a pool of urine with me in the middle of it.
I have no shame in saying I wept openly. It was horrific.
I got up a spent the next few days trying to purge the episode from my brain. I was almost recovered when a few days later my irate neighbour arrived asking me if I was the owner of the feces laden slacks on his shed roof.
The shame.
(Smell eep!, Fri 19 Mar 2004, 15:05, Reply)