Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Then the other party...After-dance ball in Sixth Year at school. In a big posh house in Newton Mearns. Police come to chuck everyone out due to noise and whiny neighbours. Me and my best mate (see story below) think they're after us for peeing down the side of the house and leg it a mile down a shitty wee dirt track down the side of the houses and lie low for half an hour until the police go (in which time we came to the conclusion we'd shag a donkey for each other - ahh, such good mates). In our kilts. Arrive back to find that everyone has been chucked out and our stuff is lying in a pile at the front door.
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Fudgebags will wear you like a glove, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:46,
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