Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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Not glue sniffingI was taking my friend's dog for a walk, out by the ring-road. I was suffering from hay fever at the time, so after one sneezing fit I sat on a log to blow my nose. I heard a screech of brakes, and a cop came legging it from the ring-road, straight up to me, and grabbed the handkerchief out of my hand. The other cop shouted "what are you doing?!"
"I'm blowing my nose," I replied. "I have hay fever."
"Oh, we thought you was glue-sniffing," he said.
I then looked at the other cop, who handed back my hanky, green in the face and trying not to retch, trying to wipe my snot off his hands with a tissue.
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 11:21, Reply)
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