Surfing for porn
can't remember which browser it was, but a few years ago I was doing some research on the Internet, ahem, and my girlfriend at the time turned up.

I slickly hit the 'home' button to bring up whatever my homepage was, probably Yahoo in those days, and all was well. Food was cooked, TV was watched, usual stuff. Unusually, neither of us went near the computer.

Later on, I need to do something on the computer, GF wanders into the kitchen.

So, you know on some browsers, the 'save image as', and the 'set as desktop wallpaper' are right next to each other?

During the 10 seconds GF doesn't actually have a direct line of sight to the computer, I close whatever browser it was, see with horror that my wallpaper is now a large picture of 2 thai lesbians doing a 69, and manage to change it back to something slightly more appropriate.

"What's up with you?" she says, emerging from the kitchen. "You look like you saw a ghost".

No, I saw a Thai hooker with her tongue up her best mates twat, but we'll go with ghost, I reckon.
(username failed moderation, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 16:38, 7 replies)

Had she never seen a lesbian?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 16:47, closed)

I couldn't say for sure, but
She'd have raised an eyebrow if she had found a couple of them splayed across my monitor.
(username failed moderation, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 16:53, closed)

I wouldn't mind splaying a couple across my monitor!
If you know what I mean!

LOL!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 16:55, closed)

She must be scary as fuck if a raised eyebrow can turn you white.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 17:09, closed)

To be fair ...
He IS black ...
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 17:47, closed)

i did get caught
I fell asleep at the computer. I slept through my wife walking into the room and getting behind me to see what I had been doing and was she horrified! She woke me up, shouting, "DON'T YOU DARE!"

My face turned red as a beet as I took a glance at the state's employment agency job postings on the monitor. (I was the bread winner and she understandably valued a reliable household income.)

Pornography would have merely disgusted her.
( tromboner cherophobia is my kind of fun, Thu 4 Jul 2013, 17:34, closed)

You
utter degenerate.
(username failed moderation, Fri 5 Jul 2013, 8:42, closed)