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This is a question Bullies

My mum told me to stand up to bullies. So I did, and got wedgied every day for a month. I hated my boss.

Suggested by Mariam67

(, Wed 13 May 2009, 12:27)
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I rather lost faith in the whole school thing...
I had to literally drag my very distressed children to school for several years, to leave them sobbing their hearts out with a teacher hanging on to them so they didn't run back to me as I left. I'd be telephoned several times a week by the school because they were "distressed" after breaktimes and lunchtimes. I attended meeting after meeting with the head and deputy head about the bullying. The advice given by the staff was the usual "ignore it", "go home for lunch", "walk away", "tell a teacher" type crap. They tried all of this - to no avail. They tried standing up to the bullies - only to get into trouble with the themselves. I was told by my daughter's head of year that nothing would be done about one of the girls bullying my daughter because "her parents would get upset" and would apparently cause trouble for the school - the HoY sympathised, she said, but my daughter would have to try and stay out of the other girl's way. Etc etc, ad nauseum.

After many, many incidents - both physical and verbal, the final straw for me came following yet another a rather nasty assault on my daughter by two girls where, this time, she was thrown on the floor and kicked in the head several times - surrounded by the usual jeering mob. My daughter finally managed to get to the receptionist and asked her to call me. The receptionist said she'd call the school nurse instead, who duly came and took my daughter to the medical room. After being told what had happened the nurse gave her a glass of water and then sent her off to her class. The teacher noticed she was white as a sheet and shaking so sent her back to the nurse, the nurse immediately sent her back to class. After much to'ing and fro'ing to the nurses room over the course of the day (the incident happened in the morning) the deputy head was finally called in. He questioned my daughter and the two girls concerned, who eventually admitted the whole thing and told them to shake hands and apologise.

My daughter came home from school that night still white as a sheet, still shaking, blurred vision, vomiting etc - I finally managed to piece together most of the story from her highly incoherent explanations while we were in casualty. She was concussed but fortunately no permanent or longlasting damage.

Obviously I had several questions for the school staff - why hadnt they called me when it happened, why hadnt they taken her to hospital immediately (which I would think would be commonsense after someone was kicked repeatedly in the head), why did the nurse continually send her back to class when she was quite clearly not fit to be in school after the assault, etc

No satisfactory answers were forthcoming, no apology for the nurse's total incompetence - instead I was apparently supposed to be satisfied with the punishment which the school had decided upon for the two girls concerned - they were "isolated" (not allowed to go outside at breaktime or lunchtime) for one whole day! Woo!

After the meeting concluded I marched straight up to the receptionist, requested a pen and paper, and wrote a letter to the school unregistering them - took them home. They've been home educated ever since.

After being out of the school environment for several years, my children have now returned to the well-balanced and happy people they were before the bullying started. They are respectful, kind and enthusiastic about learning, and are now much more social and friendly with other children (albeit older children rather than their peers) than they ever were whilst at school - something which, had I left them in that abusive and neglectful environment, I'm sure would have been knocked out of them.

Yes, education is necessary - school isn't.
(, Sat 16 May 2009, 4:17, 9 replies)
Thats awful
But you did the right thing. I have a few objections to home schooling as it can't offer a few of the more advanced things like science equipment, but you've not taken them out that long. Nice one on being a great mum in a school where the staff just didn't have a clue/had their hands tied.
(, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:41, closed)
perhaps
But many schools can't/don't offer some of the more advanced equipment these days for cost or health and safety reasons. I know a few home schooled kids who have far better resources than I did 20+ years ago, and I went to a pretty well of school.
(, Sat 16 May 2009, 17:39, closed)
Very grim
good to hear they are ok again now.
(, Sat 16 May 2009, 5:52, closed)
nice move
but I would have sued their pants off right after I pulled my kids out.
(, Sat 16 May 2009, 7:20, closed)
Yep.
Seems to be a recurring theme that some schools prefer to brush a problem under the carpet rather than doing something about it.
(, Sat 16 May 2009, 11:56, closed)
Awful story
Glad everything worked out in the end.

My two little brothers are having the same problem at the mo. One of them has already been unregistered after being knocked out in a classroom in front of a teacher and the other is about to be after he started getting bullied.

Seems that schools are the same as anything else in life: the scum are taken care of and the kids that try their hardest and are well behaved are treated like dirt.
(, Sat 16 May 2009, 13:11, closed)
Well done you
As a teacher I saw quite a lot of bullying, and whenever I could I tried to stop it. Having been bullied myself as a child I probably wasn't as objective as I should have been. It's really great to see that there are some people who are prepared to stand up to the school 'don't rock the boat' policy.
(, Sat 16 May 2009, 16:57, closed)
thats
awful that the school didnt do anything because the girls parents would get upset, did they not consider that you'd be upset that your child had to go through that?

yeah most schools do brush it under the carpet so they can save their reputation rather than have to deal with the fact that bullying is going on in their school.
(, Sat 16 May 2009, 19:37, closed)
Thank god
they have you for a mum.
(, Sat 16 May 2009, 20:57, closed)

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