Because I find this funny
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFM578rJp2M
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 12:29, 1 reply)

Because........
I willingly went to see Mrs Browns at the Hammersmith Apollo last month and thoroughly enjoyed.
(Official Sarc, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 12:19, Reply)

Because I love my iPad.
And you can all get fucked.
( Ken Oath, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 12:04, 2 replies)

I like cake

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I always add a whole chicken stock cube...
..to knorr chicken noodle soup.
(babyjak, Thu 19 Jul 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Because I...
Along with the rest of you, were here when QotW died. We are simply contributing towards killing it, and it's impending doom.

I honestly can't see a way back now? Can you?

It may not be right, it may not be justified, but would the last person to leave please turn the light off before they go?
(King Nightmare, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 23:35, 10 replies)

I once disagreed with someone in a reasonable and civilised manner, instead of trying to silence their dissident views by accusing them of a) trolling, b) communism, c) homosexuality, d) witchcraft or e) any combination of the foregoing.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 22:11, 15 replies)

i once lied about the amount of butter i use when cooking

( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 20:13, 1 reply)

The Demon Organist of Location Withheld
I was called in to play the organ in a church.
I'd never played an organ before, so I found myself in an empty church in a quaint country village, just me and a massive organ. (I always feel uneasy when confronted with a massive organ, for some reason).

I ran through the hymns, trying to get a feel for it. The hymns were easy enough, but organ keyboards are not like piano keyboards, and I really needed to get in some proper practice before the big day.

So I bashed out the hymns again, and moved on to some stuff I knew a little better, seeing what of my repertoire worked at approximately a jillion decibels.

Edith Piaf? Yup.

Chucho Valdes? Nope.

System of a Down?

System of a Down?...
Yup. Emphatically Yup. Definitely Yup.

Metal on an Organ? Why not? Why, indeed, the hell not?

And so it was that a party of elderly ladies came in for their midday pray to find their stand-in organist bashing through Symphony of Destruction, Amon Amarth and Toxicity, dressed entirely in black and laughing like a man possessed. And I'm not talking about a little, weak-kneed titter here. I'm talking about a full-throated baritone cackle: 'Ah ha. Ah ha ha. BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!'.

And lo, as the painted eyes of long-dead saints looked down upon my blasphemous head, did one old lady came up unto me. And she spake thusly:
"Do you know any Motörhead?"

For the crime of being out-rocked by an old lady, I am going to go to hell.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Wed 18 Jul 2012, 16:29, 9 replies)

Well, there was this one time
me and your father spit roasted a hooker.
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 15:47, 4 replies)

This one time, I posted a hilarious child molesting story on a public messageboard.
Upon later realising that police frequent the website in question and can trace IP addresses, I tried to pass the earlier post off as trolling.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 18 Jul 2012, 14:18, Reply)