Im afraid this will be the third time I've told this particular tale of child cruelty and vengeance on here, but as its my only bus related story I feel I must

As an experienced traveller of buses, I feel that I have gained an invaluable insight into the problems of public transport. The main problem is that OTHER PEOPLE ARE ANNOYING. This rule applies tenfold in the case of children.

So, one particular day I get on the bus to go into town and take my seat towards the back of the bus. Far back enough to not be sat with the elderly, but not too far back to be stuck with the thugs. All is going as well as a journey in a clapped out stinking bus can possibly go, when the child from hell jumps aboard with his fat arsed chav mother. They sit in the gap thats designed for the elderly and the crippled in the standard display of selfish procrastinating lazyarsed effortless behaviour that you now seem to expect from the tax swallowing handout dependent wasters that are the chav class. The mother opens a family bag of doritos, and proceeds to munch her way to an early grave, while satans fart stands on his seat and starts pressing the bell over and over...and over again.

This went on for about 10 minutes, and I could see everyone on the bus becoming restless as they all got closer and closer to a total nervous breakdown. And then, something incredible happened. Something so extraordinary, noone saw it coming... The mother actually did some parenting.

"IF YOU TOUCH THAT BELL ONE MORE FUCKING TIME WE'RE GOING HOME YOU LITTLE SHIT!" she bellowed menacingly at the perfectly described "little shit". The child immediatly stopped, looking shocked and upset but kept his hand near the button mostly for balance. And so, the perfect opportunity for vengeance had shown itself.

With a quick glance at the mother to make sure she wasn't looking at either me or the demon spawn, I reached up and rang the bell in quick succession. The mother glared at the child, his hand still over his button, and with wails of protest she picked him up, and marched off of the bus screaming at him that he was no longer going to the zoo.
( Furness, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 14:41, 13 replies)

I love this story.
Every damn time.
( Cawl, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 14:43, closed)

nice.
i should try that sometime.
(tb2571989 dies at precisely, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 14:45, closed)

Hehe
*click*
( snee held his breath since, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:02, closed)

fucking awesome!

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:13, closed)

Another click for an excellent repost
Don't apologise!

Can I borrow you for my bus?
(BearWithLittleBrain, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:19, closed)

You sir are a King

(R-T-C Got arbitrage profits?, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:21, closed)

Ha!
I was waiting for this. If by the end of the week you hadn't posted it I would have done.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 15:33, closed)

I have
a new hero!
(hating swallows is 20 yards from the nearest Jaffa cake, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 16:18, closed)

Every time I read this post, I cry (with laughter) a little...
Apologies to Ella Fitzgerald.

*click*
( TheMagicDwarf is back like ballroom dancing, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 16:40, closed)

Click
*again
(Kip, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 20:00, closed)

Pearoasting is fine
when it's stories like this.
( thealternativefact, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 13:51, closed)

This, sir
is a fine example of a roasted pea. I liked it last time but it just gets better...
(berk, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 15:20, closed)

still one of my favourite ever QOTW answers
and I still wait for the opportunity to do it myself
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 11:05, closed)