I have one that I do myself
it's accidental, and people generally just smile rather than get annoyed. I can't say the word penguin. No idea why. So it comes out as pengweng
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Yummy Mummy
Just hearing that makes me want to stab someone.
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 15:04, 1 reply)

Baa baa wooly sheep, have you any wool....*
Yep, doesn't matter if the kids heads get screwed up wondering why they are asking such a pointless, self answering question, as long as no colours or shades are ever discussed openly in case we offend anyone.

It's only a matter of time before humpty dumpty has a slight fall and receives compensation for trauma.

*I do not read the daily mail, I heard this from a student teacher.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:59, 1 reply)

Do you listen to Radio 4 ?
If you do you'll be familiar with the expression "....on the ground". Drives me fucking mental. Everything's "on the ground". e.g. "Churchmen are calling for more Sunday school teachers on the ground", "The Association of Chief Police Officers has condemned the lack of training for its officers on the ground", etc.... I even heard one a couple of weeks ago when the air crew union (or somesuch) was calling for more money for air crews on the ground. FFS.
( Ramsay Tupper, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:49, 1 reply)

Lives on the line
These days whenever "our boys" (in the armed services; police force sorry, service; etc. ) are mentioned, journalists, politicians and interested parties say that 'government should do such and such' or 'so and so should be more grateful' because they "put their lives on the line".

On what line?

Prior to watching rather too many 1980s Hollywood action films, nobody used this phrase. When it was first coined it was a useful euphemism.

But nowadays, every hack journalist, Tory politician and harrumphing phone-in ranter seems only express the idea that:
lives are at risk
lives are in danger
lives are in jeopardy
lives are under threat
people are in harm's way
with the phrase "... (are putting their) lives on the line"

And that's just the common idiom, never mind more creative or poetic ideas which, as professional writers/thinkers, journalists and politicians ought to be able to come up with.

But no. All we get is "...on the line".
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:28, 2 replies)

Blue sky thinking
Every time I hear someone use that phrase I want to rip off their arm and beat them to death with it.
(mmm....beer, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:10, 1 reply)

If I get something to eat, mrs monders will ALWAYS ask me...
"are you hungry?"

Winds me right up.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:09, 3 replies)

None in ages ...
and then 3 at once! We had a meeting this morning and the guy visiting us managed to use touch base, moving forward and vanilla all in the space of 30 minutes!!
(cmouse is pondering about life in other jobs, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:06, Reply)

People saying "last" in QOTW
ETA: God damn it!
(Schrodinger's Goldfish, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 14:02, Reply)

Whatever
To them means "I've won the argument on the grounds that it's not worth my effort"

To me it's another way of saying "I've lost the argument".

Mrs Sandettie once said it, I laughed and pointed out that she's not actually a 12 year old. She's never said it since.
( sandettie light vessel automatic My blog: scandinavianforvalue.wordpress.com/, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 13:58, 3 replies)

'Talk to the hand'
and all possible variants thereof.

It makes me want to rip off said body part and beat the prat who thinks this sounds witty to death with it! ArrrrrrgH!

Edit: Ooh, also, the post below has just reminded me of people who insert an extra 'a' when pronouncing thesaurus. It isn't the the'a'saurus!!
(Bob Frapples is de-lurking on, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 13:52, 4 replies)

You like 'travelling' eh?
Personally, I prefer arriving and staying and actually seeing an area for more than 5 minutes, rather than ticking it off a list. And I don't want to hear about your fucking yoga master, or you fucking your yoga master. Brighton's full of the cunts. Gap-Year should be rebadged as Gash-Year.

"I'll tell you this for free" is always a favourite. However, what is worse and I have already read below is people calling you "mate", when they're not. I do this a lot, and I don't mean to, I think it's a nervous reaction, and the fact I'm terrible at remembering names.

A couple of my friends have catchphrases - and if they weren't such awesome people, and I didn't know them already I would want to club them to death with a thesaurus.
(Pat_Gash, Thu 15 Apr 2010, 13:42, 2 replies)