Where to start?
1) "Turns around", when used by someone recounting a conversation. "So she turns around and says 'Up yours', so I turn around and say 'You can't turn around to me and say 'Up yours'', so she turns around and says" etc. Who are these people who attempt to conduct entire conversations with their backs to each other?

2) Any word apparently invented purely for use in piss-awful celebrity magazines bought to gawp at whilst cramming a 'Meal Deal' down the throat over lunch. Examples include 'Bromance', 'Frienemies' and any portmanteau of two names, e.g. Brangelina, Jedward. This may mark me out as a collosal snob, however in my defence these magazines are absolutely fucking shit.

3) 'Could'/'Help'/'Fight'/'Could help fight' in the context of crooked adverts for ropey health products, e.g. "Rubbing our unique Bosweloxidentospunk formula into your skin every night for the rest of your life could help fight the signs of aging", "Eating Miserybix for breakfast every day could help fight colesterol". Well, yes. And me spending five minutes less a day knocking one out to Norktube.com could help fight global warming, but I don't see the Nobel committee awarding me anything. Despite numerous emails.

4) Endogenous. Learnt it in AS-Level Economics years ago. Still hate it. Makes me think of mucky cocks for some reason.
(costas, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:40, 8 replies)

Jedward
I feel sorry for John*. He only got the one letter in the name. I wonder if he gets bitter about it and wanted it to be Johnward. But to me, Johnward would signify some sort of weak bladder problem.

"I'll not have that second coffee, I'm a bit Johnward as it is"

*not really, I couldn't give a flying.

Edit: I'm going to adopt the word Miserybix to describe shit breakfasts.
Me: "Last week I met up with Bob and had Miserybix"
Someone Else: "Yeah, he is a bit of a cunt"
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:48, closed)

This reply
deserves a *click* of it's own. Actually office lol-age at "I'm a bit Johnward"!
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 18:29, closed)

Bromance has irony value
And I still can't think of a better word for describing the relationship between Wil Smith and Martin Lawrence in Bad Boys.
( Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 17:49, closed)

*clicks* hard
for the portmanteau thing. I too hate them intensely. And I don't think it's confined to the "gossip" mags, either - the whole media seems to be in love with these words. "Staycation" is one you missed out - has anyone ever heard this or any of the other words used in actual conversation?

Also, along with Jedward, we have the faddish shortening of people's names, such as "SuBo" and the latest "SamCam". Urggh, all these fucking words are so ugly!
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 18:34, closed)

Good lord, you're absolutely right
I completely forgot about that awful SuBo/LiLo/PeDo thing. And yes, I'm fairly sure nobody actually uses hideous words like Staycation in real life. Or, if they do, they're hopefully beaten to death sharpish.
(costas, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 11:02, closed)

Agree with point one
I used to work with a guy who couldn't stop saying that.

"He turned round to me and said..."
"so I turned round to him and said..."

It always made me imagine that they would be constantly rotating
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 19:22, closed)

Could. Help. Fight.
Adverts like those always have "truth text" at the bottom of the screen.
e.g. "Eating this shit could help fight acne".
Bottom of screen......very, very small......
"Survey of 76 people,August 2006. 4% agreed with this statement".
( Unklian Lives in the only country where "Glass" is a verb., Fri 9 Apr 2010, 10:07, closed)

"could help fight"
Click
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 16:37, closed)