I've never really gotten on with my dad. He liked Football, I liked reading. He liked going out on the lash and shagging his secretary, I liked going out with guys my own age and shagging them.

The straw which broke the camels back however was something so trivial that I'm amazed it's come to no contact with him, his wife and my three siblings...

It was my youngest (at the time) sister Christening, I'd been asked to be the God-parent which naturally was no problem, so I packed up some clothing and took the two hour journey to Amersham and settled in for a night. I got there, "hello! hello! hello!" from my step-mum, my dad? "What clothes you wearing", ah cheers, thanks.

I bring out my clothes, some Khaki's and a white shirt, as I've mentioned in another post those horrible black work trousers bring me out in a rash and wearing them for any period of time is literally torture. He takes one look at my clothes, walks upstairs and literally *throws* some of his old clothes at me saying "wear them", and then walks off leaving me and his wife in stunned disbelief.

Rest of the night passes awkwardly as I struggle to figure out am I a 12y/o child being told what to do or a 26y/o man who actually can wear what the fuck I want? So in the morning, I wake up and put on my clothes to both my SM's and Dad's horror. My dad refuses to look at me and just walks off, my SM asks me "why won't you consider wearing them?" to which I reply with the last thing I've said to my dad and SM for a year and a half:

"If the clothes are so important to you then why don't you make the clothes the God-parent instead of me? If you want me to the God-parent then let me wear my own God damn clothes".

My SM looks like I'd hit her with a shovel after digging up her (hopefully) dead grand parents and sodomizing them both with a giraffe. Yes I felt guilty but my dad? Wouldn't even look at me.

We go to the Christening and the rest of my family does the same, lots of whispers about "lack of respect" and "who does he think he is" while I'm pointing out the glaringly obvious fact that all the men there are also wearing Khaki trousers due to the cold weather but apparently, what's good for the goose isn't good for the gander. It's only right that the God parent should freeze his arse off for the sake of a few photos.

We do the Christening, I get the next train home and all due to a pair of trousers my dad no longer refuses to speak to me nor allow any official photos of me with my God-son as apparently I "didn't look the part", which he could only tell me through my older sisters. As a result, this was the last time I saw my brother Liam who is now 18 months old, my sisters Jenny and Anna who are 3 & 4 and another one on the way.

Apologies for the lack of funniez, rather cathartic reading this back. Normally family schisms are caused by men not being able to keep their trousers on at the right time, my schism was caused by keeping mine on...
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 14:57, 16 replies)

It's the wrong trousers Gromit, and they've gone wrong!
who was this again?
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:01, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/dad/post986596
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:06, closed)

Depressing.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:03, closed)

god, poofs
eh
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:54, closed)

Are you calling *whiny sock puppet here* a queer?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 16:33, closed)

queer, no way he's my god son

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 17:40, closed)

hahaha
he may as well have just worn all denim
( $$ ✅, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 15:56, closed)

Amorous Badger's Greatest Hits is OUT NOW in hardback.
It's the perfect gift for Halloween!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 17:16, closed)

'An even better read than Apeloverage's book' - Richard 'Monty Boyce' McBeef..
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 17:57, closed)

Haha!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 18:51, closed)

I know I'm shit at QOTW but I have an excuse -- I've not tried.
Have you considered therapy for your problems? I agree, some of you "fails" are funny and/or frightening but repeating the same posts for a decade is a bit sloppy and gives the impression of a person best avoided.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 19:49, closed)

He thinks it's a meme.

(McChinaman banned, Wed 1 Oct 2014, 20:31, closed)

Because, of course, this thread falls far below the standard
which we have come to expect from the other answers this week.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 2 Oct 2014, 10:12, closed)

I KNEW I should have posted a picture of someone's kids :(

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 2 Oct 2014, 15:15, closed)

downer
perhaps you should have worn a suit or something?
(yeswehavenopasties, Thu 2 Oct 2014, 5:18, closed)

lol gay

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 2 Oct 2014, 8:41, closed)