Rick Wakeman
I was fucking mortal pissed in a hotel in Reading (Radisson mebbe...) and I got in the lift with this bloke in a long leather coat and long hair. 'You look exactly like Rick Wakeman' says I.

'Guilty as charged sir' says keyboard wizard. I got his autograph for my boss and that was it really.

Do I win?
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 13:39, Reply)

I farted
in a small child's face on a bus this morning.

No celebrity involved it just made me smile
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 13:38, Reply)

I once answered my phone
with someone asking for Richard Madeley.
It might have been him...
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 13:36, Reply)

I once received an email
from Claire Sturgess.
Anything more than 2 lines is excessive, this week, right?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 13:30, Reply)

last
yay

Wankweasels
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 13:21, Reply)

My shit claim to fame is that I am going to be the last person to post on this week's QOTW.
TBH, i thought they would have shut it down by now.
(King Nightmare, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 13:20, Reply)

V. tenuous
My mum's cousin is very distantly related to UK hip-hopper Chipmunk. Or Tinchy Stryder, I can't remember which.
( <somethingfunny> hasn't said anything funny since, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 12:36, 1 reply)

damn almost forgot
I met Cannon and Ball just after they were buying guitar strings in Swansea.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 12:06, Reply)

shit pun
I once made a very poor model of a motorway in the South East of England.

So poor was it that it made headline news in several local newspapers in the area.

That is how I got some shit clay M2 fame.

fuck yeah.
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 11:55, Reply)

Super shit
I regularly see Jarred Christmas, "star" of some Pot Noodle adverts a few years back and occasional Mock The Week irritant in my local Waitrose, as he lives in the area. He gets a lot of people looking at him as if to say "I know that bloke's face from somewhere, but I can't place where", and he loves it, the Kiwi twat.
( <somethingfunny> hasn't said anything funny since, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:38, Reply)

I Know Somebody...
....who got attacked by Peter Gabriel's swan and was interviewed by Tim Vine about it.
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 10:38, 1 reply)

England vs Germany
Last home international game before the iconic twin towers got demolished for an arch. I was one of the 80,000 that was there to watch England lose 1-0 and probably appeared on TV at some point or another.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:53, Reply)

When I was 7
I went to see Roy Castles Christmas pantomime at the fairfiled Halls in Croydon.

At one point, he wandered around the audience getting kids to sing a note (one each). He would thrust his mic in their faces, and they would croak out whatever they felt like.

Yup, that's right. He did it to the kid sitting next to me. I reckon I have a castle number of max 4.
(username failed moderation, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 8:51, 1 reply)

Royal heavy right foot
My ex wife typed out the summons under conditions of strict secrecy for the Princess Royal, Anne, who was the first member of the Royal Family to be prosecuted for speeding. Must have done it right as she pleaded guilty, but fame doesn't get much more tenuous than this.
(Classic Ray, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 7:21, Reply)

I am proud to be
the direct descendant of the only man ever put on trial for witchcraft* in Tennessee.






* the judge laughed and threw out the case.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 3:05, Reply)

anyone remember Mr Majeika?
One of my best mates when I was 6ish ended up being the orrible bully boy in it. He was in some ad for dairylea too I think
(teasus likes tea, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 0:40, Reply)

An Austrian family I used to know
lived on a very large boat. One time I mentioned that I was planning to visit California. You know how it is - if you're going anywhere near someone's distant relative they always expect you to bump into them. Well these guys started banging on about this relative and how successful and respected he is. Before I left, they begged me to pass on family heirloom if I did bump into the guy.
It was a bit of an odd thing - a lion tooth on a leather thong to wear around the neck. Caught by great uncle something or other in 1802 type thing.

Of course, as was inevitable, the guy was just standing around waiting for someone at the airport. So itwas that I found myself saying "here's your ship clan's tooth, Arn"

well everyone else was doing it miss
(teasus likes tea, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 0:33, 2 replies)

I was Cheese...
Back in the year 2000, after many failed attempts, i finally got the call back from radio 1 to be a contestant on Chalk & Cheese on the Mark & Lard show.

I was Cheese, i got 1 question right, i won, i never received my prize.
(Pat mustard, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 23:30, Reply)

I have been interviewed live on Al Jazeera news ...
because they couldn't find any other scientists who would agree to discuss some new cloaking thing or other.

Oh, and once I passed the lead singer of Killing Miranda in a stairwell, and congratulated him on his most recent performance. "Thank you", he said.
(haberman is singing in the changes, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 22:22, Reply)

I had a dream last night
That I was on a television game show. Couldn't remember which one when I woke up though.
(Figmaus, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 20:19, Reply)

Mictoboy reminds my that one day when I was doing admin for an investment bank,
JK Rowling sent me a cheque for £250'000. She'd also sent similar cheques to about five of my colleagues.

She must be minted.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 19:13, Reply)

i once watched my colleague process an insurance renewal for Edwina Currie

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 19:10, Reply)

The rhythm guitarist in my band
runs the Iron Maiden fanclub, and is Steve Harris' ex-brother-in-law. His son deps for our drummer occasionally, and he is the drummer with The World On Fire, Voodoo Six and Hi-On Maiden (who came to our wedding reception).

Well you asked for shit...
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 19:08, 1 reply)

When I was six or seven
I was the phone-in contestant on Wacaday. It was shit in retrospect.
(Eukanuba, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 19:03, Reply)

I've done quite a lot of voiceover work
For learning and training products. Chances are, if you've done a shit online training course, you've heard my shit voiceover and it's added a bit more misery to your day.

You're welcome.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 16:33, 8 replies)

Famous enough to have a stalker
I got an email via my obsolete technology website, from someone who was a bit of an intense fanboi type. I was happy to play the role of all-knowing sensei to his grasshopper, until one email where he casually mentioned

"Oh, and I see you on the train sometimes"

I took the bus that night...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 16:20, 3 replies)

I once bought Yvette Fielding a sandwich. Tuna mayo sweetcorn.
( PMGT -Bacon., Wed 26 Sep 2012, 16:10, 1 reply)

My Dad
won against Geoff Capes in a caber tossing contest.
(thebigrefix, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 15:38, 2 replies)

Ive sat near to
Roy Hattersley and David Blunkett at a football match.
Though I don't know why Blunkett bothers to go. Perhaps his dog likes football.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 14:16, 9 replies)

I know Pooflake IRL
I win.
By 'win' I actually mean 'lose'
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 26 Sep 2012, 14:14, 4 replies)