Stop and Search
Back when I was in my early teens (some 20 years ago now), I was stopped outside WHSmith by a heavy-set, plain-clothed gentleman who flashed me his police badge and declared he was about to perform a stop and search on me.

This was my first brush with the law and I was at first terrified and then deeply ashamed as he rifled through my pockets in front of a growing crowd looking for jewelry that had recently been reported stolen from a high-street store. Apparently I fit the description of the thief.

Having found nothing of value on me, he took my details and told me they might be in touch later that day and that I would be kept on record for a year.

Now I was an innocent and naive lad in those days whose only vice was spending too many hours on my Atari ST, so to say the experience shit me up was an understatement. I bolted home to tell my Mum and she literally exploded in rage.

The thing you need to know about my Mother is that at times she can be a very stereotypical northern woman, and therefore insulting or embarrassing a member of her family is likely to be dealt with by great fury and anger.

She marched me straight down to the police station and demanded to see the guy who had searched me. Sensing this was not a woman to cross, he was summoned to talk to us, and the conversation went something like this:

Mrs BinDipper: I want to know why my Son was humiliated in front of a crowd of people when he's only 13 years old

Officer: Because he fit the description of a suspect we want to question

Mrs BinDipper: What's the description?

Officer: The suspect was wearing a blue coat

Mrs BinDipper: What else?

Officer: (long pause) white male, 6' tall


I'm black and would have been about 5' at that age.

Took ages to fill out the paperwork to lodge the complaint, but worth it for the begrudging apology that followed.
(BinDipper, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:12, 8 replies)

Crikey.
Have a click - not just for mentioning the Atari ST. I loved that thing...
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 7 Sep 2010, 13:49, closed)

I'm sorry...
"she literally exploded in rage."

No she didn't. She figuratively exploded in rage.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 14:35, closed)

You weren't there, you didn't see what happened!
(BinDipper, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 16:00, closed)

But if it was literal...
she would not have been able to go to the station and resolve everything! Also, she would have been a medical anomaly. =O
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 22:22, closed)

perhaps he thought you nicked the coat from the Real Thief.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 15:28, closed)

I drove home at 5am one night...
having been to get 1oz of weed for my flatmates in a car I wasn't insured for and having had a coupla glasses of wine. As I pulled up to park, a herd of Z cars pulled up around me. I figured I was done for but as the main cop dude stood beside me (always get out of the car into their space, I was once advised, except in the US where they'll shoot you first) with his radio out, the woman at HQ said, "Nah, he's a short bloke, brown leather jacket driving a Polo with the rear offside window smashed," none of which was me. Bust averted.
(glammerocity state of the art Luddite, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 17:37, closed)

It's because you're black.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 19:01, closed)

Was his name Constable Savage?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BO8EpfyCG2Y
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Tue 7 Sep 2010, 21:38, closed)