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This is a question Conspiracy Theories

What's your favourite one that you almost believe? And why? We're popping on our tinfoil hats and very much looking forward to your answers. (Thanks to Shezam for this suggestion.)

(, Thu 1 Dec 2011, 13:47)
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Badgers
When I was wee, my family used to amuse ourselves in the interminable car journey down to Devon by counting the roadkill and guessing what it was. It was a somewhat macabre version of the iSpy books I had diligently filled in and was thus left with no more exciting things to look out for on the endless stretches of road.

"A badger!" I exclaimed, pointing out of the window with glee at a mutilated corpse on the hard shoulder.

"Don't be silly," my mum said, a smile playing at her lips, which at the age of seven I had failed to identify as I am going to troll my child for shits and giggles. "Badgers don't exist."

Imagine, if you will, the earth-shattering realisation that the world you thought you knew was a fiction. That those funny black-and-white big-rat animals were in fact entirely made-up. What else was untrue? I had already dealt, that year, with the discovery that Santa, God and the Tooth Fairy were lies. Was anything real any more?

I whimpered. "But that looked like a badger," I protested.

"They're pretend," my mum insisted. "Someone plants them on the roadside as a trick."

I accepted this. Following the Santa-revelation, I knew that if my mum told me something was imaginary, it probably was. Mistrust flickered. Was my mum one of those people who planted fake badger-corpses to maintain the deceit? It would be her style, the disingenuous cow.

For years, I took it to be true. Badgers weren't real. It stayed with me until my teenage years, when a chubby, awkward Queen of Cheesecake decided to show off her superiority by correcting someone who claimed to have seen a badger.

"Don't be silly," I said. "Badgers don't exist."

The chorus of laughter still rings in my ears.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:29, closed)
Yo momma so fiendish, she deserves a round of applause.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:31, closed)
click

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:34, closed)
Trolling children for shits n' giggles is ace.
My nephew proudly informed his class one day that the Hoover Dam was built out of old vacuum cleaners - I was so proud.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:36, closed)
That's beautiful
:D
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 16:06, closed)
your mother is evil.
i like her.
(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:41, closed)
You're adopted.

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:43, closed)
this wins

(, Fri 2 Dec 2011, 15:57, closed)
Winnah
There are lots of interesting reads this week, but only one has made me click. Ergo we have a winner. Congratulations.
(, Tue 6 Dec 2011, 18:00, closed)

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