If your significant other consistently leaves 1 sheet on a toilet roll.
They have no respect for you, and basically the relationship is over.
If the last sheet has been removed, then laid over the top of the cardboard tube, they're probably seeing someone else.
(GhostAtTheFeast Soup Sir?, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 17:48, 14 replies)

Only cyclists should be allowed to drive cars.
As a cyclist you have a much better appreciation of the dangers of driving, and definitely have better road awareness. The only people with the skills to use cars are bike riders. All current car drivers should be forced to sell their cars and spend 5 years getting around on pushbikes, until they have the necessary skills to graduate to motorised transport.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 17:28, 45 replies)

Belief through volume and repetition
I once went to an Evangelical wedding. Real happy-clappy born again Christian types. At one point, they were all shouting out "I believe! I believe" and such like.

I couldn't help think that, rather than their god or the other members of the group, the ones they were really trying to convince were, in fact, themselves...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:49, 10 replies)

I still think Carter USM are an amazing band

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:42, 20 replies)

Sex education
You may remember there was a period during sex education where the boys and girls are seperated, or at least there was at the school which I had attended.

The boys would sit, feeling somewhat uncomfortable, whilst the teachers would discuss various issues in a lads only forum.

During this period, I strongly believe that the girls were learning the macarena, the moves to Whigfield's Saturday night dance and other pop tunes of the era.

This can be the only logical explanation as to why every female over the age of thirteen knows the moves to every fucking one of these songs.
( Muns, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 16:14, 13 replies)

I don't think spelling and grammer are very important when using the internet.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:57, 11 replies)

I believe that the MMR vaccine gives people an over inflated sense of self importance,
and that Malaria can be linked to eating marmalade that has a picture of a golliwog on.
(Shamelesspendant Better dead then smeg., Mon 29 Apr 2013, 15:54, Reply)

My cat understands Welsh

( rofl harris, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:59, 7 replies)

scotch eggs should contain a whole egg
not those little bits of chopped up egg they try to palm off on you nowadays, they're just wrong.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:45, 32 replies)

I don't believe that all humans are sentient.

( rofl harris, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:31, 1 reply)

there must be some women that enjoy being raped, law of averages and all that...

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 14:01, 20 replies)

My uncle thought he was Saint Jerome.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 11:33, 7 replies)

I knew a woman who thought that all plants had a potential medical application.
She also wanted to be a man and was convinced that eventually a plant would be discovered with the relevant properties to accomplish this without surgical intervention.

I know that medicines derived from plants have accomplished amazing things, but I just couldn't accept her ideas. Cunt reversal by leaves! Seriously?
( Muns, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 11:23, 8 replies)

And I'm the bad guy?
I was at a family gathering. My family are lovely but they are creationist fundamentalist Christians. I'm the black sheep of the family they have long ago given up trying to save me and I have agreed to stop wearing my Darwin Viva La Evolution T shirt because it just antagonizes people. I was chatting to my cousin who had recently got a kitten. She was bemoaning the fact that she had to by law get the kitten vaccinated.

"So, what's the problem?" I innocently asked
"I don't agree with vaccination" came the incredible reply
"what do you mean you don't agree with it, you can't disagree with vaccinations, you mean your against vaccinations for pets....that means...you believe all that shit about the MMR?"
"yes they're unsafe"
"but they have been proved to be safe I can find you medical papers on my phone right now that will state unequivocally that the MMR vaccine is safe. They have been peer reviewed"

"I don't care, I'm entitled to my opinion" came the startling response

At this point I was ready to leave it then she said something else

"oh you know me Sittingduck I think all sorts of silly things. I mean I don't think they really landed on the moon"

Well up to that point it was quiet discussion I was trying to make her to see sense and to drag her mind into the modern age and get her kids vaccinated. This however was red rag to a bull. I'm afraid I may have ranted. I may have raved and I was told to stop and I felt really really bad about it but FOR FUCK SAKE faked moon ladings!

I have been forgiven and the silly cow still believes in the sky daddy, MMR is bad, the moon landings never happened, & 9/11 was a government conspiracy probably
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 11:08, 4 replies)

Call it fate, call it luck, call it karma
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 10:59, 3 replies)

I bought this car with my own hard-earned money. This toddler has a roof over its head and food in its mouth because of my hard-earned money.
Yet some sandal-wearing tree hugger in government says that before long I won't have the right to give my child emphysema? Fucking nanny state.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 10:05, 2 replies)

We're all equal.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 9:34, 6 replies)

Pakis

(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Mon 29 Apr 2013, 1:15, 7 replies)

Arbeit macht frei.
Work set's you free.
( p4c_m4n There, I said it!, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 21:10, 12 replies)

Only asylum seekers should get benefit money
People born in the UK have won life's lottery. Just being mediocre, getting up in the morning and going through the motions will win you riches beyond the dreams of most of the people in the world.

Asylum seekers aren't so lucky. They've been born into hardship and may well have risked their lives to get here. They the lifeblood of the UK, the least we can do is give them a leg up.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 19:41, 13 replies)

A few guys in work
live off the utter bile on the net that is on the "conspiracy grapevine". It's rather comical and they keep to themselves about it, occasionally hopping in with some rather special quotes; one in particular was "you want to watch that Opening Ceremony for the Olympics Jeccy, that's when the aliens are due over London and that's why there are rockets on every London roof to stop the invasion". That one that kept me in mirth for pretty much the entire Games, half hoping that the sky would fall during the 110m hurdles. He was almost proved right too until they identified the 1st alien on screen as Clare Balding.

One thing that did piss me off was when one of the "believers" started lecturing me on anti-psychotropic medicine saying they were all placebos and the idiots taking them are thick for falling for it. Considering that my dad has to take these every day to prevent him from attempting to commit suicide again (the medication he's currently on makes him completely normal and more happy than he's been for the last 10 years) I was really the wrong audience for this speech.

My viewpoint on it is that yeah it's great to have some ideas on other things and it's not my place to change your beliefs, just don't preach it about unless you are pretty sure you can back it up as you will look quite the tool. THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE, BUT IT'S PROBABLY NOT ON A WEBSITE WITH A SHIT CLIPART OF A UFO AND A MAGNIFYING GLASS.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 18:32, 4 replies)

Bothering famous people and complaining when they act like cunts.
One of the people I look up to has a problem with dealing with rabid fans, and when a rebuffed fan doesn't get what he wants and turns nasty , saying 'The fans made you' his standard reply pf "I've worked hard for my money, I don't want fame, I want to be good at what I do and I don't appreciate being interrupted when I'm having some private time with my family or friends" isn't unreasonable.

That famous person has had nothing from you except maybe 5p from the CD sale or 2p from the movie ticket. Even if you've bought 50 of their albums or seen 20 of their movies, what does that £1 that they've had from you personally entitle you to? They'll have been bothered 250 times a day, so if they're kind and take time to stop and say hello, fine. If they're cunts then don't act like you somehow own a piece of them, respect their right to some time not having to put on an impromptu private meet-and-greet just for you.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 28 Apr 2013, 18:20, 4 replies)

Men are an oppressed minority
They are failed by a the education system, are more likely to be homeless or unemployed than women and are more likely to commit suicide. But public money resources in these areas is routinely diverted to women only services.

Men are more likely to contract cancer than women, and when they do are more likely to die, but again resources for research and care are biased towards women only services.
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 18:19, 10 replies)

Americans believe all sorts of things
but the one which gets on my tits is that they think that the letter o appears twice in Edinburgh.

"When does this airplane arrive in Edinboro?"

WTF?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 17:50, 7 replies)

something racist

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 16:39, 4 replies)

I believe that you should stay about from my bins.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 16:24, 1 reply)

Home taping kills muslims.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 15:08, 1 reply)

That the use of facebook to post bland 'profound, live changing' drivel in the form of text on a picture to everyone you know.
That's a good thing.
(Woodlouse say it with flowers. Send her a Triffid, Sun 28 Apr 2013, 14:37, 2 replies)

The Adversarial Justice System is geared towards letting more criminals off than locking up innocent people.
but if I'm a witness for the defence being cross examined by the prosecution saying 'YOU did THIS and YOU did THAT'- if it's not true, you say 'That's not true' and they say 'YOU ARE A LIAR SIR' I can't deck the fucker without getting done for contempt of court. Seems like it's one rule for the wig-wearers and another for the rest of us.
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sun 28 Apr 2013, 14:19, 3 replies)