'Blue Sky Thinking'...

I could cheerfully recite quite a few examples of times when I have been properly shafted by corporate cuntishness (I’m in the middle of a dispute with a company as we speak.) However, for a change I thought I’d just leave this list here of pretty much everything I hate about modern corporate culture…


The robotic voices that answer our calls
And make life as fun as a kick in the balls
‘Security questions’ each place that I go
Taking 26 passwords to just say ‘hello’

The Jobsworths and policies make me so tense
With their stubborn refusal to listen to sense
If they had a brain they’d know things were amiss
But they ‘don’t make the rules’, and it boils my piss.

The skilled employees who are losing their jobs
While the ‘senior managers’ fiddle with knobs
The money that’s spunked on those ‘team building games’
and the call centre 'forriners' with fake English names

The wankers whose only concern is the ‘sale’
Before they hand over to ‘team epic fail’
Consultancies costing us squillions of dosh
To botch up shite logos that look like old Tosh

Big corporate bonuses backslap away
While blame culture vultures will shaft you next day
Buzzwords and catchphrases hide the inept.
By the carpet where insider scandals are swept

When I think about it, I just can't believe
How some companies guess that we’re all so naive
When all is considered it’s not very hard...

Just give us respect …don’t be a fucktard.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 12:41, 5 replies)

This is very good
imo. Better than the other consumer stories that are rife this week. Get's my click.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 13:13, closed)

You have to suspect that
someone who regularly finds themselves embroiled in a spat with big corporations might just be a bit of an arse.

Didn't read the poem, too long.
(username failed moderation, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 13:23, closed)

Oh man, the burn...

Well, thank you anyway for sparing your precious time to trawl through the first little bit of my post. For the record, my reference to 'quite a few examples' was intended more towards the fact that I'm old, and so have suffered in similar ways to the many others who have contributed to this QotW. The fact that I am currently embroiled in a spat is mere coincidence.

Oh Bugger, I've gone on too much again haven't I? you've probably given up reading again. Hey ho.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:24, closed)

No, I read that.
But your 2 paragraph, vaguely sarcastic overly worded ramble entirely convinces me that I'm completely wrong, and you don't like bickering.
(username failed moderation, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:36, closed)

Touche...

I'll leave it there then.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:41, closed)

Well I for one think this is brilliant
have a click
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 14:39, closed)

Sounded better over a beer..
..or three.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:08, closed)

It's the way I read 'em...

Bumbling, and slightly slurred
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:09, closed)

Class!

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 15:33, closed)