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This is a question Council Cunts

Stallion Explosion writes "I was in a record shop in Melbourne, flicking through the vinyl, when I found a record entitled 'Hackney Council Are A Bunch Of Cunts'"

We agree.

Have you been trapped in the relentless petty minded bureaucracy of your local council?
Why does it require 3 forms of ID to get a parking permit when the car in question is busy receiving a parking ticket right outside the parking office?

Or do you work for Hackney Council?

(, Thu 26 Jul 2007, 10:51)
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"Kindred Spirits" I reckon…
Now, I’m pissed as I type this…and getting pissder (& I know it’s Wednesday)…but bear with me…

The key words you mentioned rachelswipe (you beauty btw) was “I was promised”. The reminder of that phrase pushed me over the NTL edge.

NTL (now beardy-wierdy-tastic) have fucked me about for sooo long I can’t even remember when it started…

Something always happens…like I get a bill that is not even within the remotest stratosphere of what I should be paying the nob-faced arse-kettles.

So I call the scrotum-poles….go on hold for what seems like currently about 11 years in total….and it begins...

Actually, sometimes I’m nice to them(when there’s an attractive sounding girlie on the phone), but sometimes I rant and call them fuckybuckets (when there's a cock-custard sucking flid-bag on the phone). Either way it ends the same…

I have been 'promised' in the past (brace yourselves, here comes a whizzbang of a list):

• Free mega-package (or whatever it’s called) TV for a month
• Free double speed broadband for a year with discount so I only pay the same as usual
• All my NTL bills paid for me for the next 3 months
• Despite being an existing customer, I would be entitled to all ‘brand new customers only’ offers

What was the problem with these ‘promises’?

THEY WERE ALL UTTER BOLLOCKS.

Oh they’ll give you what’s on the list above…every time...it’s just that they’ll charge you on your bill like you begged for it AT FULL FUCKING SPUNK-MY-MONEY-AGAINST-THE-WALL PRICE.

So I try and get through to them to say (after long 'on hold time'):

Me: ‘Oh, I spoke to Hayley and she assured me I would get this service for free, my bills paid for the inconvenience and an extra TV package’?

Token Cunt (Close friends get to call him ‘TC’ – sung to the tune of ‘Top Cat’): “No sir, that is not on our records. How about we promise to give you the next year for free instead? Or pay your bills for the next three months?”

Me: “can I have that in writing?”

TC : “I’m afraid we can’t do that sir, but you will see that adjustment in your next bill”

Me: “I’M NOT GOING TO FALL FOR THAT THIS TIME YOU BUNCH OF RAMPANT CUM-GUZZLERS”

TC:” That’s not very nice but we understand your distress. How about free broadband for the next 20 years?”

Me: “OK”

(Slight exaggerations for comedy purposes)

…And so on until the next bill. This has been going on for yonks now. I pay so much…they give me squidge-all. They are the only people I have ever been motivated enough to actually write and post a letter of complaint to. The subsequent (8 weeks later) reply was so flippant, nonchalant and patronising that it made me want to ram a knitting needle into my forehead.

It’s not too much to ask…I just want to wrap my wanking spanners round the throat of every (former) NTL employee and shout “WHY MEEEEEEE???”

Sorry for length...and for not mentioning councils whatsoever...I do tend to go on when I’m shit-faced
(, Thu 2 Aug 2007, 0:19, closed)

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