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This is a question Crap Gadgets

We wanted a monkey butler and bought one off eBay. Imagine our surprise when we found it was just an ordinary monkey with rabies. Worse: It had no butler training at all. Tell us about your duff technology purchases.

Thanks to Moonbadger for the suggestion

(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:51)
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Microwave Egg Poacher
or, as is more accurate...

Plastic box that transforms everyday eggs into incendiary devices that will explode all over the insides of your microwave, no matter how careful you are with the recommended addition of water down to the last millilitre.
(, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 3:11, 13 replies)
Did it mention
that you should pierce the yolk before microwaving?
I was making an egg dish in a microwave once,I neglected to pierce the yolk, as I took it out and looked into the dish it exploded, egg on my face , literally.
(, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 5:40, closed)
I used to use them all the time.
I put the egg white in, saving the yolk. Microwave for about 10 seconds to get the white started, add the yolk, microwave for another 40-50 seconds depending on the size of the egg, opening the door about halfway through to let it calm down a bit.

Raw to poached and runny yolk in a minute.
(, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 9:56, closed)
Dear god man
poaching an egg involves boiling a pan of water and a tiny bit of salt and some rapid swirling of the water as you put the egg in if you want to keep it a bit tidier.

Mind you, I do scrambled egg in the microwave, so I probably shouldn't call you out on laziness.
(, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:16, closed)
I eventually got one of these off Freecycle
www.tefal.co.uk/All+Products/Breakfast/Toasters/Products/Toast+n+Egg/

perfect poached egg every time :)
(, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:44, closed)
Someone tell Moon Monkey.
Maybe this toaster works.
(, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 10:49, closed)
Sure as f*ck won't reliably backup up your data
That's fer sure!
(, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 12:17, closed)
Eurgh!
Do you use the "meat warmer" often?
(, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 15:47, closed)
No I haven't, I only use the toaster and egg poacher functions
Maybe "warm cold meat" is a continental thing?
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 9:47, closed)

wtf?
(, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 22:12, closed)
I used to do scrambled egg in the microwave
But then I bought a decent non-stick pan. It takes about the same time, and tastes sooooo much better. You're missing out...
(, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 15:58, closed)
wait, have you not typed
"how to poach an egg" into google?

I used clingfilm for a long time, but that is cheating. Recently I've been adding a dash of vinegar and swirling the water before dropping the egg into the center. I may have some tomorrow and I'll post the results.

Seriously though, search google.
(, Sat 1 Oct 2011, 22:32, closed)
I know how to poach an egg
but I'm just a sucker for labour saving gadgets.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 9:46, closed)
you haven't searched, have you?
the first result may surprise you.
(, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 17:09, closed)

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