THE SHOUTY PHONE!
Nowadays, I am a smartphone-toting media person. Or, in the common parlance: a twat. But once upon a time, back in the mists of memory, I carried THE SHOUTY PHONE! THE SHOUTY PHONE was a basic Alcatel housebrick that could only send text messages using CAPITAL LETTERS! IT HAD A TWO LINE DISPLAY! PUNCTUATION WAS BASIC!

And so I gained a reputation amongst my friends as an IRASCIBLE BASTARD! ALL SHOUTING! ALL THE TIME!

And, oddly enough, I GREW INTO THE PERSONA! IT SUITED ME! I WAS A NATURALLY SHOUTY PERSON! I'D JUST NEVER REALISED IT BEFORE! I AM THE BRIAN BLESSED OF NEW MEDIA, YOU COCKMUNCHERS!
Thank you, Alcatel. Thank you.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 15:24, 5 replies)

Sounds like the Wasp T12 Speechtool.
It's well weapon.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 15:29, closed)

It's true! I AM a self-facilitating media node!

(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 15:35, closed)

i had the same one never lost signal and battery lasted for ages...SHOUTY SHOUTY SHOUTY
(mermaeve is very trying, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 18:45, closed)

Did you grow a beard to go with it?

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 2 Oct 2011, 19:21, closed)

Sadly, no.
I wish I could.
I was drinking last night with a bloke who is ten years younger than me, and who has grown a full beard more or less overnight!
In a CAVE! With a box of SCRA...I'll stop that now.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 10:50, closed)