As seen on TV!
Back in the Dark Ages when TV was in black and white, Mom used to watch daytime TV. I vaguely remember it- the Mike Douglas Show, Let's Make A Deal, the Merv Griffin Show- and I remember the commercials. Especially K-Tel and Ronco.

Mom sent off a check one day, and eventually there arrived in the mail a genuine Veg-O-Matic. It dices! It slices! Chop onions with no more tears!



Apparently you can still buy them, but Mom gave up on hers after a time and left it on a shelf in the basement.

Not that long ago I was in the basement and found it, still in its original box. I asked Mom for it and she laughed and told me to take it away.

Something about the way she laughed makes me almost afraid to open the box...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 16:12, 8 replies)

this sounds like the start of a story that ends....
...and thats were I found the desicated remains of my father's penis.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 16:37, closed)

I don't think it desiccates as well
Unless the penis was stored in silica gel.

I'm sorry. I can't help myself. I think I have a serious problem.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 16:47, closed)

Any body part left for years on a shelf in the basement will desiccate.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 17:02, closed)

*Checks basement*
You're absolutely right.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 30 Sep 2011, 17:11, closed)

I've got a Dodge Veg-o-Matic - there in the parking lot
By J Richman (perpetually aged 19)
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 18:56, closed)

or there's this...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gasAFyonmmI
(micky2shoes has more shoes than feet, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:05, closed)

I thought you might have meant
this...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Sat 1 Oct 2011, 13:22, closed)

Nowadays
You'll see a "Nicer Dicer". Same idea, same heap of crap. All these veg dicers have the same fundamental flaw - in virtually every case you have to scrub and peel the veg and possibly chop it into small bits to fit the dicer. At which point you may as well just have chopped the bloody veg all the way for the effort it saves.
(MagicMoose, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:51, closed)