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This is a question More Terrible Hotels

Actually paid to sleep somewhere that turned out to be less compfy, private or clean than the bench in the park outside? Tell us all about it.

Or perhaps you'd like to boast about getting upgraded to a sea-view suite next door to Stevie Wonder, like my colleague keeps doing? Over and over...

(, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 9:36)
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More terrifying than terrible.
This is an absolutely true story. Half a lifetime ago I stayed with my wife at a family run hotel at Olivet near Orleans in France. It looked promising in the Michelin red book. The location was in woodland adjacent to a tributary of the Loire called "Le Loiret", and approached by a long narrow driveway lined by dense hedges and overhanging trees. When we arrived, the hotel looked like it was at one time a fairly grand residence but has since gone rather downhill. What was probably once a garden, but so overshadowed by the canopy of trees that it had become home to mushrooms, ferns and moss covered statues. To start with we thought that we had made a mistake, because there were no other cars and the place looked deserted. I parked in the driveway and approached with slight trepidation. As I got nearer to what I assumed was the front door, a figure emerged from around the corner of the building. It was a short and quite portly middle aged lady, who was smartly dressed but most remarkable for being quite appallingly ugly. Her grotesque face was made yet more repellent by thick white make-up, crudely rouged cheeks and gash of scarlet lipstick. She greeted me with a sickly smile and ushered me into a side door. It seemed that this was after all the right place and we were expected. After the checking-in formalities, we were shown up a grand staircase to our room by another lady very similar to the first, with similarly unsightly features. At no point did we see any sign of other guests. The room was enormous, entered by double doors and served by a bathroom almost as big again. On the mantelpiece was a rather satanic looking bronze statue of Pan, complete with goat's feet and horns. Rather than give a complete description, I'll just say that the environment gave the overall impression of being the set for a horror film.

The twin sisters had a younger brother who appeared to be a bit 'special'. I met him when returning to the car to collect our bags. He was wearing blue overalls and was carrying an axe. His dead looking eyes set in a grey pallor and slack jaw made me think that he might have a pile of dismembered bodies hidden somewhere in the forest.

As we got ourselves installed to our room, we tried to make light of the situation, making jokes about the ugly sisters and the axe murdering brother, but at at the same time both genuinely uneasy. I've never known a place quite so creepy. I hardly slept at all, and what sleep I did get was filled with dreams of the statue of Pan coming alive and dancing around the room.

We didn't stay for breakfast.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 13:18, closed)

Liked this. Particularly intrigued by the lady's gash of scarlet lipstick.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 16:30, closed)
oh no. different looking people, mock them.

(, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 18:50, closed)
Jealous
I get nostalgic watching old hammer house of horror episodes so I'd have loved every minute.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2014, 23:41, closed)
that sounds fucking excellent

(, Fri 28 Nov 2014, 19:48, closed)
*books a fortnight*

(, Mon 1 Dec 2014, 15:25, closed)

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