I Like This QOTW
So I'll be posting a few tales up on this subject.

As an IT contractor I've spent most of my working life away from home so I tend to eat out rather a lot. So this is the first of a few I'll post.

I worked in Liverpool a few years back and I had one very memorable meal there. It wasn't crap. At least not for me....

A few of us went out one evening to a very posh restaurant in Liverpool (Honest to God! Not everyone in Liverpool eats from the dustbins...). We had a decent meal which was washed down with copious quantities of wine so by the end of the meal we were all four sheets to the wind. At the end of the meal we were hanging around waiting for a couple of the others to get their coats. And the place we were waiting was next to a big ornate fountain, right in the middle of the restaurant. In this fountain were a lot of rather large goldfish.

Now being a bit pissed, a couple of the lads decided to try and catch goldfish with their hands. A quick snatch, a small splash and they'd come up empty handed. Now I've always prided myself on my fast reactions so I decided to show the lads how it was done.

I sidled up to the fountain and watched for a decent victim. Ah there! The big bastard with the crooked fin. As he swam towards me I slowly took my hands out of my pockets and watched him out of the corner of my eye.

Closer.... Closer...Closer - The VOOM! Like greased lightening I plunged my entire arm,shoulder and upper body into the pool - and missed the fucker by a country mile. They're faster than they look the fishy fuckers!!

Now, as usual, I'd overlooked something. When I hit the water hard and fast I set-up a bloody huge wave which rushed across the pool and then sloshed over the edge. Straight over a young couple and their dinner. They just sat there, frozen with horror, their knives and forks still clutched in their hands and just stared at each other. They were soaked.Their dinner was awash and a goodly portion had been swept onto the floor (I distinctly remember seeing a soggy bread roll floating away.) I was horrified at what I'd done and at the same time found it hilarious. Me and my party were pissing ourselves laughing and, even though I tried to apologise for my stupidity and I paid for their meal, you could tell that I'd totally bollixed their evening up.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Thu 27 Apr 2006, 15:07, Reply)