Radio 4 said...
I worked in a bookshop once, and was busy minding my own business behind the till when a mid-60s woman (not elderly but definitely not doable) approached and stated...

"I was listening to Radio 4 last night...

(ooh how classy you are madame, I thought, way above my status as a mere bookmonger)

...and they were talking about a book. Do you have it? It was EVER so interesting but I don't know what it was called."

Says I:

"do you know the author?"

"No sorry - radio 4 last night"

"hmm,was it this? (producing the book at bedtime)

"Erm no, but it was on radio 4"

"How about this? (producing Radio 4's Book of the week)"

"No! It was on Radio 4"(slightly annoyed now)

"Okay" says I, and look for a company list of books 'in the media' that week, reading the list of books on the BBC radio stations, meanwhile my colleague looks at the bbc radio 4 site for a list - needless to say none are right...

She looks peeved "NO - it was on RADIO 4! Just put 'Radio 4' into the computer!"

Says I "Well, that won't help me find it"

"THEY SAID - JUST PUT RADIO 4 IN AND IT WOULD COME UP"

"Err, well I can search by title, author, synopsis, publisher, imprint, publication date, format, size...but not what radio station it was on."

(sighs) "Well...it can't be a very good system then can it?!"

"OK....(smiling through the rising anger)..we don't know the title or author...what was it about?!"

(angry now) "Well I don't know!

Says I:

"Must have been a great book then." (smiling)

looking shocked, walks out mumbling "I don't have to listen to this..."

She obviously would rather have been listening to Radio 4.
(Andrelius67JHHVGC7 Han har stillet træskoene, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:17, 9 replies)

That
sounds scarily like my grandmother. Did she use the word 'superb' at any point in the questioning, and were you based in the South East of england?
( ascorbate, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:23, closed)

Yep
My 9 months working in a bookshop included daily incidents of

Idiot Customer: "You know that book they were talking about on x?"

Me: "No, I'm sorry, I didn't watch/listen to/read x. Do you have any more information?"

IC: "Unintelligible rant in which my intelligence/the marriage of my parents, etc... is questioned"

Me: "Thank you. And please, come again."
( Moey, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:35, closed)

If she didn't know
what it was called, who it was by, or what it was about, how did she know the books you offered weren't the right ones?!
( Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 17:38, closed)

Quite simply, Lumpbucket

"I'll know when I see it" is the usual response.

To which you wish you could say: "Well, use your fucking eyes and legs and look round this cunting shop until you do see it then!"

Alas, the customer is always ri....
( Moey, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 18:02, closed)

To my absolute shame
I was once (a looooong time ago, back when I was at school) asking the local librarian about a book I'd enjoyed but couldn't remember the name of, and I actually said "it had a silver cover".

Well, that'll narrow it down a bit, won't it?

I am such a mong.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 4 Sep 2008, 22:14, closed)

Hee hee

Well I know what I'll be doing this lunchtime...

Waterstones or Borders - what do you think?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 10:16, closed)

^The biggest one you can find
Then say it's either travel, history, biography or fiction.

And make sure you tell them that you'll know it when you see it, they'll love that.
( Moey, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 11:21, closed)

I don't have to listen to this...
*click* for the last two lines alone!
(ice9, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 13:54, closed)

sounds so familiar
Once, though, I did manage to find a book described as having a red cover (to be fair everyone else that day had come in for the same one, but I was proud)

I like it when they say something like "type in 'cricket' and it'll come up"

yes, along with thousands of other titles
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 16:58, closed)