My cousin's a bitch
A good few years back me dad and his brother (my uncle no doubt) went shopping around the local "Co-Op" (not there anymore, burnt down for an insurance fraud case....nice area). Me uncle is wheeling the trolley about with his daughter sitting in it aged about 5; my cousin Jemma.

Jemma was a spoilt little twat back then; my uncle had recently divorced due to his wife fucking about and Jemma was showered anything she wanted by both parents to show "who loved her more". This didn't help things and she was spoilt beyond comprehension.

Anyhows the bitch was sitting in the trolley stuck in the gay-seat and me uncle wondered up another aisle leaving me dad with Jemma. She looks over one of the shelves and spies a lovely looking bar of chocolate.

"I want that one!"
Me dad, nonplussed by this nonchalantly replies "Nope sorry...." which in turn he's then hit by the four words that no-one should have to deal with, especially when surrounded by other shoppers on the top of her lungs.
"YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!!!!!!"

Everyone in the aisle apparently stopped shopping and glared over at him, who for a few seconds stood there gobsmacked by the immediate attention.
"WHERE'S MY DADDY!!!!???" she screamed and tried kicking out of the trolley seat. Nout left for it but to retort LOUDLY.....
"If you don't shut up now you're going BACK into the cellar again, do you understand?!!?!??" shouts dad, leaving Jemma with a terrified look on her face, along with everyone else in the aisle who'd been eavesdropping.

It was at that point that his brother walked around the corner carrying some shopping and asking dad how she's been.
"Like a little angel" muttered dad as he passed the trolley back to him :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 27 Nov 2010, 8:53, 2 replies)

Your dad wins.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 27 Nov 2010, 10:29, closed)

Excellent!
(GooGoo, Tue 30 Nov 2010, 15:37, closed)