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This is a question Desperate Times

Stranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.

Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.

What have you done in times of great desperation?

(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
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Desperate?
A friend of mine works in one of the local hospitals (she's a pathologist actually, but that has no bearing on this story she told me...).

A woman in her 40s went into one of the hospitals in the Medway towns. She took with her most of her many offspring, ranging in age from late teens or early 20s all the way down to a baby in arms.

It was for the baby that she had turned up at the hospital clinic as the infant wasn't very well.

Now, I should mention that the family came from the Isle of Sheppey which is known round these parts as having some 'interesting' characters living there...not least of all the inmates of the prison.

Anyway...the woman goes into the consulting room with all the kids. The nurse starts to chat to her about what's wrong with the baby and all the kids are getting noisy and generally irritable.

The nurse asks the woman if her children can wait outside. "Yes" says the woman, "But not him" pointing to the eldest boy, "He's the baby's dad"
"Oh..." says the nurse, "I thought you were the baby's mum"
"I am"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I got confused. I thought he was your son." replies the confused nurse.
"He is."

It's a desperate place, Sheppey.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:43, closed)
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
please be lies!
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:44, closed)
check out
sheppeyscum.com
hilarious, (hello flumpy)
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:46, closed)
If she's a pathologist..
..would she be able to hook me up with one of the stiffs? She can join in if she likes!
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:47, closed)
I truly wish
this was a lie...but it's the god's honest.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:48, closed)
Ahh, Medway
The only place in Britain I've been threatened with a beating because I merely looked at someone in the street (not even staring, just a flicker of eye contact). And I'm from Sheffield.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 14:53, closed)
I thought
there were a few prisons there.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 15:00, closed)
Medway
On a par with North Shields on a Saturday night out....and believe me...I've tried both.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 15:08, closed)
...
I have literally just had to push my bottom jaw back up and remind myself to blink, I will click "I like this", but I don't, not one little bit.
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 15:21, closed)
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I'm from Texas (redneck backwater) and am still weirded out.

Was their family surname Freud by any chance? ;-)
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 15:39, closed)
Yah.
I lived for two years in Saranac Lake, NY while I was attending a small forestry college in the area. As I was broke, I took a job as a dishwasher in a restaurant for a time.

Now, Saranac Lake is not a tiny place, really- but in the winter it can get pretty isolated up there. Ever seen the TV series "Northern Exposure"? I swear that they based Cicely Alaska on Saranac Lake.

At the time I was married, and my wife was a nurse at the local hospital. One night I got talking to one of her co-workers, who confided to me that in that town there were terrible drug and alcohol problems (which I knew), and a big problem with incest. When the snow hits and the temperature approaches -40, about the only things to do in town are eat, drink and fuck, and often they don't go very far to do any of these.

I immediately thought of one of my co-workers, a fat blonde girl with dubious hygiene, and mentioned her by name. The nurse nodded grimly. "I know her. She's a third generation product of father-daughter incest, and has a baby by her dad."

The girl in question was very heavy, with gapped teeth and eyes set about an inch too far apart and an IQ a little below room temperature. The thought of her having sex under any circumstances gave me the jibblies worse than anything I had experienced up until goatse and tubgirl.

And her story is far from unusual, apparently.

GAAAHHHHH!
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 17:11, closed)
Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

I almost barfed!

*shudders*
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 17:32, closed)
There once was a man named edipus rex
You may have heard about his odd complex
His name can be found in freuds index
cos he
Loooooooooooved his mother!
(, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 19:39, closed)
...
His rivals used to say quite a bit that, as a monarch, he was most unfit. But still in all you had to admit that he looooooved his mother!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 13:56, closed)
I live round 'ere
Sounds like one of my daughter's schoolmates when she was in primary. Lovely kid, but really dim. not surprising, as his mum was also his half sister and if you went back he only had 5 great grandparents. Normal number is eight.
(, Mon 19 Nov 2007, 22:36, closed)
...
"...Yes he loved his mother like no other. His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother.
One thing on which you can depend is, he sure knew who a boy's best friend is!"


'Tis always nice to have a bit of a sing-song.
(, Wed 21 Nov 2007, 19:29, closed)

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