Nosey mum gets a shock
The initial three months of any relationship has you both at it like bunnies at any and every opportunity, so naturally a few years back when I was courting ex-Mrs PJM and we weren't at it we'd be exchanging letters and phone calls of a somewhat steamy nature.

I was still living with my parents at the time, which made such communications a subtle and hushed affair. My mum (bless 'er) was somewhat slow on the uptake and after a couple of months asked me if I was "being careful", somewhat oblivious to the fact that I'd been being careful for the previous seven years.

Anyway, I'm at work one morning when the phone rings.

"Hello mum" said I

"A package arrived in the post for you this morning, not sure what it is. Do you want me to open it?"

Now I was expecting a delivery of a bit for my car (some thieving chav had nicked my 'GTI' badge) so I thought yeah why not...

"Oh. I think it's from ex-mrs PJM" said mum, with a slight note of shock in her voice.

I found out why when I got home. The silly cow had sent me the tiniest and least subtle pair of panties in her collection through the post...

Mum couldn't look me in the eye for a while.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 7 Feb 2007, 9:48, Reply)