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This is a question The Dirty Secrets of Your Trade

So, Television is a hot bed of lies, deceit and made up competitions. We can't say that we are that surprised... every job is full of this stuff. It's not like the newspapers currently kicking TV whilst it is down are all that innocent.

We'd like you to even things out a bit. Spill the beans on your own trade. Tell us the dirty secrets that the public need to know.

(, Thu 27 Sep 2007, 10:31)
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friday phone tennis
In my office on a Friday afternoon we are generally besieged by cold callers selling various crap, anything from mobiles to bog rolls.

Anyhoo, nothing gives us more pleasure on a Friday than a game of phone tennis. The rules are simple: when someone asks, for example, to speak to the person responsible for ordering your paper clips. (like we have a whole department for that) you pass them over to another chap in the office.
Unfortunately you have accidentally transferred them to the wrong department. Much fun ensues:

caller: can you put me through to the person that deals with paper clip ordering please?

me: oh yes no problem. (leave them on hold for one minute and transfer them to the person sitting two feet away from me. (rob)

rob: hello, canteen.

caller: oh, I need to speak to the paper clip ordering department.

rob: we don't have any need for paper clips in the canteen love. Although we do recommend a staple diet! I'll just transfer you. (leave on hold for a minute first though to ensure maximum hilarity)

me: (in strong pakistani accent) Ello, delivewies how may I be helping you.

Caller: Can I be put through to the person who......

repeat until it is time to go home. The record is 9 or ten transfers, with at least 4 counts of casual racism.

have fun with it.
(, Fri 28 Sep 2007, 17:02, Reply)

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