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This is a question My Biggest Disappointment

Often the things we look forward to the most turn out to be a huge let down. As Freddy Woo puts it, "High heels in bed? No fun at all. Porn has a lot to answer for."

Well, Freddy, you are supposed to get someone else to wear them.

What's disappointed you lot?
null points for 'This QOTW'

(, Thu 26 Jun 2008, 14:15)
Pages: Latest, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18, ... 1

This question is now closed.

Going out ‘On The Pull’…

Lexachu’s post has brought back the horrific memories of my late teenage years…

Fantasy: Go out, meet up with your mates, have a few drinks, have a laugh, Approach (or better yet, be approached by) attractive girl, chat, get on, have things in common, share sense of humour, buy more drinks, make arrangements for further date or maybe even the possibility of ‘back to her place’.

Reality: Go out, meet mates, get pissed, drool at girls. Overpriced nightclub. Overpriced ‘beer’ (weak piss). More perving over girls. Indulge in conversations with mates that involve ‘marks out of ten’, how many one ‘might get to the pound’, and comments like ‘phwoarr’ etc in a ‘Sid James’ fashion. Make utter twat of self by showing off or being over the top. Kicked out. Kebab. Sick. Struggle to get home. Broke. Alone.

Repeat pretty much ad infinitum…

My strike rate must’ve been about 1/100 if I think about it, and the tragedy is that now I understand that I actually used to be quite good looking (believe it or not)…and I wasted so many opportunities by being a general all-round pissed up git.

Hindsight can be a proper cunt sometimes.
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 9:57, Reply)
Playing old games
Ahh remember the days, the C64, the Spectrum, the Amiga. And how we spent hours upon hours upon hours playing games on them. The rest of the kids were out playing football. But me? no no no. I had my head in games such as, Lemmings, Zool, Sensi Soccer, IK+,Whizzball etc.

I would be outside the newsagents waiting for it to open to get the latest magazine, to rip the tape/disk off it to load up the latest playable demos and free games. Which would see me busy for the next few weeks.

I remember being in the computer shop looking at the back of the boxes and thinking, wow look at the graphics on that!

The pride and enjoyment I had when I finished Superfrog in just 5 hard long days was awesome!

My friends were envious when I'd kick their ass on Bomberman. And I was faster on Forumla One Grand Prix. These games had soul, the theme music of them would run through my head all day at school or college.

Ahh they were the days!


Today we have Internet connected games, MMORPGs, 3D graphics, surround sound. The baddies have artificial intelligence, rather than just moving side to side like a zombie. We have more realism and more interaction with our games then ever before. We expect awesome graphics now. But theres something missing, theres no soul or passion in them anymore. Theres no playability. Theres no wow factor. For example, when the latest game is coded so well it makes your 7mhz, 16bit computer do something its never done before.


Today, My spectrum is long dead, any attempt to load any games on that brings up an R Tape Loading Error 10:1 message. The Amiga no longer recognises any disks and just returns to the pink insert disk sign.

So imagine my delight when I found Emulators. Yes I could play all the old games again! A bit of setting up and viola, Im blasting around with Xenon II megablast, and shooting people on Canon Fodder! Ahh brilliant! :)

And this is where the dissapointment comes in... It is great.. for 5 minutes. Then I feel bored. Ah, let me try Bubble Bobble on th C64 emulator. Ahh yes, ooh I remember this tune! 6 Levels later.. Im bored of this. How about Jet Set Willy on the spectrum. Oh gawd this is harder than I remember.. Ah well back to MSN and Facebook.

As much as as I try, I cannot get the passion and imagination back. Maybe I've just grown up. Maybe I'm spoilt now by modern games. But one things for sure, those good days are gone forever :(
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 9:49, Reply)
Dirty massage
I had a massage in the Glastonbury "healing fields", and never got a hippy ending.
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 9:39, Reply)
rave rave rave ra....oh.
Every time I go out clubbing I always envisage having the best night ever, getting thoroughly drunk and maybe meeting some cool new people.

However I am pretty much always disappointed when I spend half the night queuing at the bar to purchase ridiculously overpriced 'weak piss' (sometimes known as 'beer') only to spill most of it whilst escaping from the hordes!

I drink at home now so I’m half cut before leaving the house.
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 9:32, Reply)
Happened to a friend of mine...

who was a big Oasis fan. Huge. I won't go into quite how big...but it was big. You get the picture.

Anyhoo, you can imagine his delight when he was at an airport a couple of years ago and he discovered he was going to share a flight with none other than Noel Gallagher!

As he approached Noel, he noticed two things.

1. Noel was a miserable bastard - (but we all knew this anyway)

2. He stank! There was such an overpowering reek of petunia oil and body odour....I mean REALLY Strong. My mate was boking for England and as he recoiled away, he spotted everyone around him backing off and wafting their hands with sickly green expressions on their faces.

Yet nobody said anything. Nobody thought to say:

"Oi, Noel - Stop being such a miserable scrote-wrinkle and write some original music...Oh, and you fucking HONK!"

It's probably for the best that I wasn't there.
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 8:47, 2 replies)
I didn't get the job.
Not even disappointed about that, more the fact that they haven't rang me about it and I only found out because my mate who works at the company told me they offered the job to the other guy...
Wankers.
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 8:43, 4 replies)
I've spent the last year training to be a teacher
It's a one year, very intense, course.
But worth it; I love the job and it's the first time I have a decent job.

The disappointment comes with me thinking that I would have my own class come this September.

I don't, I haven't been able to get a job. As of September I'll be unemployed.
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 7:39, Reply)
I should take up cards, i'd be the freaking champion
First true love = gay
Second true love = gay
Third true love = Taken
Fourth true love = Dead
Fifth true love = Too young + probably gay
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 6:42, Reply)
The Game
Not as fun as I had imagined and I always seem to lose it once a QOTW.
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 6:35, 2 replies)
Suicide Is Painless
.
Not my biggest disappointment in my life, but the biggest since I've been in Oz.

We ordered a bread-maker. One of those lovely bits of kit where you pour in the ingredients and it makes spiffing, tasty bread. They're cocking great.

So the bread-maker finally arrives and I unpack it and install it in the kitchen. I admire it's clean slick lines, marvel at the array of recipes and finally get down to making my first loaf.

I carefully measure out the ingredients, pour them in the correct order into the bread-maker and set the control panel. Off it goes with a wee whirry noise. So I retire to my study and get back to work.

In the distance I can hear the bread-maker going through it's robotic motions. Stirring the ingredients, kneading the dough and getting ready to deliver some lovely crusty bread. Then.....

CRASH!!

I leg it into the kitchen to find the bastard machine had committed suicide. During the kneading process it had kind of walked forward with infinitesimal little steps and hurled itself off the kitchen bench. There was dough and flour all over the bloody place and sitting in the middle of the floor, sparking gently, was my lovely bread-maker.

I was gutted.

Hadn't even had the thing an hour and I'd broken it. Bastard.

Still, we've got a new one now and, this time, the bastard is nailed to the kitchen bench. It's not going anywhere.

Thought I'd share.

Cheers
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 6:28, 1 reply)
: |
I once worked as the receptionist for a GP. One day a 30-stone man came in, red-faced and panting, demanding to see the Doctor immediately. We weren't expecting him and there were patients already waiting, but I let him through anyway.

You might say, that was my BIGGEST DIS-APPOINTMENT.
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 5:55, Reply)
time difference
The time difference between most of you guys and me means that when I am sleeping and the ONLY part of the day that I have serious work to do seem to be when you're all on here chatting and I always miss out!
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 4:03, 1 reply)
Ex-Wife
.
I can recall one time in bed when my ex asked me to stick my hand inside her minge. Not my fingers - my hand! So I did - all the way up to the wrist.

"Now the other hand" she smiled.

Fascinated, I complied and got my left hand all the way in. This was weird.

"Now clap" she said.

"I can't" I replied

"Yeah - tight aren't I?"

Cheers

and this joke is officially older than God but I thought it would fit in here
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 2:10, 3 replies)
Maxime's Rock Night held on Fridays
This has disappointed for a very long while.

I have been to many Rock Nights (Jilly's, Sheffield Corporation, Rio’s, Post-mortem, and Wendyhouse) and have loved going to those establishments for a night of moshing, alcohol, high jinks and “metuuul”. My favourite establishment by far is Post-mortem in Manchester.

It has played the same dull crap every time, and is barely worth going to anymore. One night was reported to be that chronically bad, that Fall Out Boy had been played twice. The DJ’s never listen, and it’s a fixed play list of what they deem to be popular. This has too much Kerrang TV orientated fare.

The worst is Room 2, that glorious cavern of despair, playing awful Indie music. And, not of the classic stuff either. Awful crap like the Libertines and what not, and others I can’t be arsed naming. You would have thought that they would have taken a leaf out of Post-mortem’s book, and keep the room for the more extreme flavours of metal like Children of Bodom, Carcass, Dimmu Borgir, Emperor, and classic thrash by Exodus, early Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax and all bands in-between that are too numerous to mention. Oh no, can’t do that. And continue playing horrid Indie shite.

The 25th anniversary special last Friday promised it all, but amounted to nothing and had all the impact of a mouse’s fart. This was no different than any other night, apart from the fact that more trends had shown up than normal because “Kerrang TV tunes are played there, innit?”

Scores of my friends have quit going, and have gone to better establishments. And I only ever bother attending the comedic “AOR/Hair Metal night” held on the 1st Friday on the month. Only on the basis that friends from Yorkshire come over and I can hang out with them, and a few other friends of mine. My ears mainly tune the horrid falsetto screaming din out, as I just go there to socialise with said peeps.

Fuck you Maxime’s, and you’re shitty play list. Fucking kill the DJ’s and get someone decent in to do a proper job!

NEXT!

/rant
(, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 0:38, 5 replies)

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