Cunting twat-calved face-boning fuckabout
Fishing.

That's it.

Fucking years, YEARS, I've been engaging in that fucking pursuit. And I'm still completely fucking useless.

An off the cuff, impromptu trip is just about bearable when you inevitably catch absolute shit-all.

But having spent a fucking week daydreaming, against all logic and experience, about the fucking gargantuan scaled ape of the depths you'll land to the applaud and envy of everyone, the false modesty as you smugly feed ten people around the kitchen table ... then on the day, that slowly tightening knot of pathetic self-loathing as the drizzle-soaked grey hours plod by and you realise, once again, that you're unremittingly fucking shit at something you 'love'.

Nothing quite fucking like it.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 11:37, 9 replies)

Wow, that's some bitterness
I've only been fishing once, off Lyme Regis. I caught loads of whiting, huss and mackerel. We caught so much we had to throw loads back.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 11:42, closed)

I've also been fishing once
At a stag do, of all times.

Didn't catch a bloody thing, despite being at an artificial loch heavily stocked with trout. I later discovered that another bloke there had caught three, but had thrown them back as he was a vegetarian.

Bugger. I'd have eaten them.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 11:50, closed)

I've only been fishing twice
and both times it involved sipping a decent wine on a sunny riverbank in the middle of nowhere while me fella showed off his Ray Mears skills. I was allowed to dig up worms and stick 'em on teh hook though. I had a great time, though no fish ever appeared, apart from a big one that "got away". To be fair, we weren't trying that hard; there were other distractions.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 12:33, closed)

Eh?
I thought it was supposed to be about the relaxing solitude of getting away from work / family / stress etc and not the actual catching of fish?
(Fluke feels bitter as well as thick, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 13:00, closed)

^
Really? I was gagging for a salmon.
That is not a euphemism.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 13:03, closed)

My favourite fishing quote
"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing about on a riverbank."
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 16:10, closed)

Do you love fishing?
Do you?
I love fishing too. But almost always catch soemthing!
Here's the latest from my trip to the Sierra Nevadas last weekend


( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 16:30, closed)

Classic pose
"Hold the fish as far from your body as possible so it looks really big."

Doesn't work with your cock, though.

Nice trout by the way.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 16:46, closed)

My dad and I have our own way of fishing
and it is the BEST!

*find a not too sunny place somewhere deserted with as little insect life as possible
*forget to bait hook (accidentally of course)
*set up comfy chair and sit down, holding fishing rod loosely and not paying too much attention
*open beer (making sure that esky is fully stocked and iced)
*pray that you don't actually catch any fish and ruin your day by having to do something.

I love it.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 5:29, closed)