Happened to a friend of mine...

who was a big Oasis fan. Huge. I won't go into quite how big...but it was big. You get the picture.

Anyhoo, you can imagine his delight when he was at an airport a couple of years ago and he discovered he was going to share a flight with none other than Noel Gallagher!

As he approached Noel, he noticed two things.

1. Noel was a miserable bastard - (but we all knew this anyway)

2. He stank! There was such an overpowering reek of petunia oil and body odour....I mean REALLY Strong. My mate was boking for England and as he recoiled away, he spotted everyone around him backing off and wafting their hands with sickly green expressions on their faces.

Yet nobody said anything. Nobody thought to say:

"Oi, Noel - Stop being such a miserable scrote-wrinkle and write some original music...Oh, and you fucking HONK!"

It's probably for the best that I wasn't there.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 8:47, 2 replies)

I pissed on his (suede) shoe once
at a party in the Virgin HQ. Funnily enough he was quite miserable about that, too, the smelly* midget...

*I have to say I didn't notice any stench on that occasion. Although I'm more than happy to claim I did.

PS, PF, sure you don't mean 'patchouli' oil?

EDIT: or is 'reeking of petunia oil' code for 'there was a whiff of lavender about him'? He married Meg Matthews FFS, she does look like a man/horse...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 9:15, closed)

Patchul....petun...oh I don't know!

That's the problem about not actually being there...I'm sure my mate said 'petunia' but I am a bit 'mutton' you know...that's just part of the fun in being an grumpy old git!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 3 Jul 2008, 9:18, closed)