why DIY surgery on ingrown toenails is NOT a good idea. (pics in replies)
i had ingrown toenails on both feet. i was a: a massive wuss about doctors, and b: too skint and in a job where two weeks off was not a viable option, and no shoes/open toed sandals was NOT an option.
so i tried to fix them myself.
firts cut out the offending bit, cotton wool under. no dice. repeat ad nauseum. no dice, getting WORse. then the v-shaped notch. little buggers were doing their best to become subterranean toenails, like some kind of hideous fleshy spelunking expedition they burrowed nto my poor beleaguered big toes, making walking, running etc painful. eventually after a couple of years of battling, i gave up, and two years ago went to the doc to get them sorted.
as a result of my incompetence and reluctance to be treated, i had to have both taken out and the nail beds cauterised.
to give you a run down, the procedure goes as follows.

swab foot
inject bare minimum anaesthetic to stop me squealing (this time taking into account the supposedly abnormal 'extra nerve' i seem to have in both toes, meaning an extra needleful of stuff per toe- go me!)
ram somethign that resembles a tiny pitchfork up under the nail, using small hammer.
hack/tear nail out at root
liberally slather nail bed with phenolic acid
allow to burn completely through all layers of skin and nail bed
rinse
bandage

now the nails were well and truly infected when i went in, so i asked about antibiotics. the nurse told me, no, no antibiotics, we only use them when infection develops. so they send me home, with strict instructions to bathe and re-dress the nails daily with saline solution.
now, peeling bandages off a raw nail bed is a whole other level of pain. i'm pretty god with pain, bike crashes, tattoos, burns etc. this was somethign else. the throbbing was supposed to stop after a day or so.
it didn't
it got worse
my toes reached the size and colour of victoria plums, complete with custrd topping, at which point i returned to the doctors and they went 'oh good lord, you need antibiotics (facepalm)
i ended up having to wear crocs for six weeks because it was all i could get to fit over the dressings. i had daily pain for eight to ten weeks,m and couldn't wear normal shoes and socks for twelve weeks. i now have no big toenails.
all this could have been avoided if i'd gone to the doctors at the start instead of fucking about trying to be a hero.
click on replies at your own risk, it ain't pretty, trust me.
smelt like off meat too
nice.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 11:10, 14 replies)

told ya

(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 11:11, closed)

What a repulsive sight you scabby fucker

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 11:45, closed)

they don't look like that now :D
i did warn you not to click, enjoy your breakfast redux.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 12:37, closed)

Mmm! Yummy!
Who's for cheese & tomato pizza?
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 15:48, closed)

wheres the bread?
mmm tasty looks like a bernard mathews joint in the making , now wheres my bread ?
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 19:53, closed)

Your doctor
Was clearly an idiot! I had exactly the same procedure done, but I wasn't ALLOWED to have it done before taking a weeks' worth of antibiotics, because, and I quote, 'the vast majority of ingrown toenails we see are infected'.

My procedure differed slightly in that the only took the edges of the nails, not the whole thing. I think I'd prefer to have them off altogether, the remains tend not to grow very well and look a bit nasty.
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 11:25, closed)

Wedge resection, that's called. Fucking unpleasant, aren't they?
I had 3 of them before the Doctor finally got sick of me, and sent me to hospital to get the entire nail and nail bed removed.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 12:26, closed)

I had only the partial thing done, and now I periodically have to go at my toenails for swiss army knife and pliers
doesn't hurt any more though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 13:38, closed)

That's
my attitude too. I least I'm not blind with agony when I stub my toe; I can deal with some mostly dead nails.
( Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 11:43, closed)

wouldn't be the first time i've said that phrase
this was the actual person who did the op. i was a bit dubious at the time, but she said the phenol killed everything....
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 12:38, closed)

Why do toe-nails betray their owners anyway?
Is it the same principle of mutiny as found in a cancerous group of cells?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 17:10, closed)

This is fucking horrible.
I hate you.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 21 Jan 2011, 12:15, closed)

brutal
never apologise, never explain.
you were warned.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 12:37, closed)

your description of the surgery was bad enough (I'm ok with the pic)
fist in mouth and squeaking while I read (no thats not something kinky)

I pulled one of my toenails off the otherday (got carried away) you've put me off doing the other one
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 0:43, closed)