Welcome to New Zealand
Having moved over to New Zealand from jolly old Blighty about 5 years ago I have received numerous culture shocks in the form of farming related events...

Within a week of getting settled in we were cruising along the state highway when I happened to glance in my rear view, only to see a weathered old farmer in his leather hat driving a battered old Ute (also known as a pick up truck to the rest of the english speaking world) with a full grown sheep plonked in the passenger seat, legs splayed apart, wearing a seat belt. We were soon to discover that this was not an uncommon sight round these parts...

Even watching a spot of TV over here can be an educational experience. I know understand what a "drench" is even if I don't understand why something you inject into a pissed off looking cow can still be named as such. I know have an overwhelming urge to own a ride on lawmower, or a quad, even a combine would be nice. Did you know that certain types of grass produce a greater amount of fat solids in milk per head of cattle? No? Well you probably don't care either, and nor should I. Yet somehow living in a country that still bases most of its economy around agriculture and farming permeates your brain in a way that is hard to describe.

Shotgun wielding maniacs are another hazard altogether... If you go hiking (or tramping as they call it over here) through the wrong patch of "bush" then you are liable to stumble upon one of the many Ganj plantations going on out here and then be chased by some angry looking guys with rifles.

Hunting is another favorite passtime out here. Deer, boar, possum you name it they shoot it and eat it. Took the family out for a walk one day and as we were loading up our backpacks three big Maori geeezers emerged from the bush, one of them with a huge boar hanging off his back. They proceeded to plonk said boar onto the ground and, with the precision of Michael J Fox trying to play a game of Operation, proceeded to hack it into chunks with a very large blade. We watched with a mixture of horror and grim curiosity until one of them noticed us staring and offered us a leg (still dripping blood). I politely declined and we went on our way sporting an interesting green hue.

I could go on but most of you have probably given up the will to live by now.

ps - having read the other QOTW posts I can confirm that yes most school kids do still knock around without shoes and yes they have been known to stand in cow poo to warm their feet (witnessed with my own 2 eyes). Also we don't have Boots the chemist over here (sorry).

Length? About 1000 Miles from the tip of the north island to the bottom of the south...
(goulash51 Lurking with intent since, Thu 31 May 2012, 3:04, 5 replies)

I love the conversation in the coffee area and how different it is to the UK conversations.
"What are you doing at the weekend?"

"Some homekill / pig hunting / duck hunting / putting a dam in the paddock / catching a few snapper / collecting paua / putting up a fence / retaining wall", etc

Brits who think they are good at DIY and go to B&Q know NOTHING. Unless it involves at least two petrol-powered tools, it's just called decorating in NZ.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Thu 31 May 2012, 4:42, closed)

Oh well said sir.
*golf clap*
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 31 May 2012, 4:50, closed)

Totally agree
Although I think I would take B&Q over Mitre 10 or Bunnings just for the slightly higher standard of cheap chinese goods.
(goulash51 Lurking with intent since, Thu 31 May 2012, 10:31, closed)

No, it's a ute - utility vehicle (note no "sports")

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 31 May 2012, 4:51, closed)

Cunt,
it's a ute. Get over it.
( Ken Oath, Thu 31 May 2012, 11:40, closed)