Not drunk, cos I'm teetotal
but once when I was loaded up with the flu, fevers, hallucinations and all, for some strange reason I decided that I *had* to go to Boots and buy myself a toothbrush. Fair enough, you may think. Rather a mundane purchase.

Oh no.

Being completely fucked with the flu, I didn't know which was was up, and eventually ended up leaving the house as a complete hodge-podge of whatever clothing was closest to hand, including odd shoes (one a trainer, one a boot), a bulky and thick biker's leather jacket (old skool Motorhead fan style) and a bright yellow t-shirt with (muddy) tan trousers.

I staggered my way there (it was a bit of a walk), almost being run over twice because I didn't click that roads=cars at this point. Went into Boots, to be immediately followed in the usual 'subtle as a fart in a lift' way by the security guard. I don't blame him, to be honest - I was 6ft tall and looked like a mental case and a junkie.

I got so freaked out by him following me, that to prove I wasn't stealing, I bought something from every position I stopped at. The resulting shopping list:

* toothbrush
* large vaseline
* painkillers
* carex handwash
* some mints

The checkout lady looked terrified.
( watashi-wa Evenin'!, Sat 11 Jun 2005, 17:42, closed)