New Knee
I was 12 when Charles & Di got married, and was bored witless watching the run-up to the ceremony - so I took my bike up to the local pond and started doing circuits and jumps around the banks.

At one point though, my front wheel hit a feeder stream ditch, and it was a perfect fit; the bike stopped dead, and I shot forward at high speed. In those days, bike lights were often bolted on to brackets on the front fork of the bike, and my knee when straight into the bolts, shattered and was partially torn out as is flipped over the handle bar to land on the sandy 'beach' of the pond, stunned.

Eventually some nice people found me, 'cleaned' me up with the fetid pond water - thereby shortening my life by 20 years - and took me home with a plaster over this gaping would with shards of bone sticking out of it.

Mum did a fit and took me straight to hospital where, with perfect timing, I was able to interrupt all the hospital staff who were watching Charles & Di take their vows. I'm sure they took it out on me with all those damn needles afterwards, though...

(Apologies for long story)
(mungo, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 15:00, Reply)

Finger detachment for dummies....vol1
Well very simple....

1. Take one R/C helicopter with broken clutch.
2. Insert little finger into tail rotor spinning at 5000rpm (you can do this entirely unintentionally, its up to you)
3. Spend better part of 5 hours having end of finger re-attached.


Clicky Pic for bigness
(higeldypigeldy, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 14:50, Reply)

Yowch
Ended up drinking at mine after a works do & getting better acqauinted with nice new bloke @ work (diff. dept. - thankfully!)

Things move to the bedroom, hands move lower, and JESUS CHRIST WTF WAS THAT?!?!?!? OWOWOWOWOWOWOW! His very long fingernails felt as though they had gouged a big slice out of my most tender outer parts. Unfortunately, as I hadn't shouted out the above and just moaned in pain, the moan was taken the wrong way, the blood was mistaken for lubrication, and thus entered the thinnest dick I have ever had the misfortune to be in contact with.

Woke up to missing man & big blood stain on the duvet, extreme stinging on peeing (although for a change this wasn't due to cystitis), and a scab for about a week.

Wouldn't have minded if it had been worth it, but worst shag ever :o(
(ricky_darkholer is blonde on the inside, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 14:27, Reply)

A special joey moment!
When I was at school, all those many years ago we we're waiting to go into a Graphic Product Design lesson, and got bored so decided to play a game.

The game was this. In the art department they had those fibre boarded walls, so you can easily pin stuff to them. They also take imprints quite well! So we started taking it in turns to punch the wall! The winner would be the person who left the best fist imprint on the wall! It started out with just knuckles showing, and the wimps dropping out! Then the knuckle marks got bigger, and only two of us where still game! So me being the spack that I am hit the wall with such force I broke 3 bones in my hand! And sat for the hours lesson with my hand curled up like a blow torched spider.

I still believe all the pain was worth it, because to this day, 10 years after the game, the imprints are still there for all the world to see!
( firstinch returns after about 10yrs, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 14:14, Reply)

Duh!
Around the age of 10/13 I was messing around in the bush outside the houses in our neighbourhood in South Africa.

We where throwing stones and shit around like you do at that age and I decided to throw a brick into one of the thickets of reeds near the river.

Unbeknownst to me there was a wire fence which had partially fallen over, and was concealed by the reeds.

Picture my expression as said brick which has just left my clutches on an outbound trajectory returns almost immediately from whence it came.

Aaaaargh!

It cracked my skull and we had to stagger back to the house with my bleeding like a fucking B-horror movie victim.
(louche_boy, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 14:03, Reply)

pain in the darkness of daytime
twas during the solar eclipse a few years ago, i was around 17 i think. i went a party to celebrate the eclipse, but was really just a pissup because someone parents were out.
anyway, by the time the eclipse happens im pretty well drunk and staggering about the garden, then out of nowhere someone belts my in the face.
naturally surpirsed i stagger back and 'put my dukes up' but in the eiree darkenss cant find the person that hit me, unprovoked.

as it turns out i had stood on the buisness end of a rake and physics did the rest. had a nice black eye to show for my efforts, or rather physic's efforts.


another time many years ago i was crouched on the seat of a picnic bench in the school playground, with arms AND legs all zipped inside my coat, pretending to be some sort of animal, like you do. naturally i was compleatly defenceless and it was only a matter of time before someone pushed me off from behind.
i fell headfirst onto the ground, bounced of my noggin and landed back on my feet like a bloody mexican jumping bean. hurt like hell, but no real permanent damage..
(everything, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 13:05, Reply)

cat
when I was about 10, my parents and I went on a holiday to scotland to visit all the family we have up there. mum also decided to take out cat, Pippin. we had a cat-leash so we could take him out for walks at the service stations on the way there. in the car, the arrangement was that I sat in the front passenger seat and Mum sat with Pippin loose in the back.

on the journey home, Pippin suddenly decided to pay me a visit. he jumped up towards me, landing his claw into my right shoulder. Mum grabbed him and pulled him off. I started to feel a bit ill, and put my hand on my shoulder to find a nice little pool of blood. it turned into a sunken paw-shaped scar, which has since turned red and raised after having surgery which resulted in scars on my torso ending up like that. so I appear to have a red cat's paw growing out of my shoulder
(Mystery Woo Yay Boy, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 13:00, Reply)

a couple that spring to mind...
1) 10 years old on my BMX, spot a MASSIVE ramp that some kids have built in the park. Peddle hard as I can towards it, take off and soar gracefully through the air. At which point, having never done such a thing before, I crap myself (not literally but almost)and in panic squeeze hard on the brakes whilst still in mid-air. So guess what happens when I land back on the tarmac? Shredded my arms, hands and legs quite nicely.
2) About 6 years old in the back garden on a hot summer afternoon, I've rigged up my garden slide to my paddling pool to create my very own exciting 'water park' ride. I give it a couple of runs, but too much friction on the slide and not enough speed obtained for dramatic entry into water. So I mix up a water and washing-up liquid solution and pour it down the plastic slide. Try again. This time I whizz down the slide so fast that I fly straight over the top of the paddling pool and go skidding across the bone-dry grass (scorched from a rare heatwave) on my naked back. Goodbye all skin on back.
( Biffins Bridge, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 12:55, Reply)

my 3 weeks of hell
a little background information - I have muscular dystrophy, and therefore use a wheelchair. since I was about 3, I had been going to Riding for the Disabled Association (RDA), riding bastard horses.

WEEK ONE
it was a lovely saturday morning, I was 11, and I had to go and ride a bastard horse. at the very beginning of the lesson, another horse bit the horse I was on, right on the arse. naturally, my horse wasn't very happy about this, and bucked 3 times. on the 3rd time, I fell, breaking both my legs. right at the neck of the femur (the strongest bloody bone in the body and I break both of mine at once). it was too far up to plaster, so the doctors just pinned them and sent me on my way. since I was already in a wheelchair, no one noticed the difference when I was back at school

WEEK TWO
I was outside, in the back garden. just under my brother's window. I was talking to a friend, but apparently we were being too loud, so my brother decided to throw something out of the window to make us quieter. I saw a blue flash before I had the intense urge to put my hand over my left eye. I had been cut JUST below my eye, by the sharp edge of a Windowlene sachet.

WEEK THREE
in my brother's attempt to make up for the previous week, when I said I wanted to go outside, he volunteered to help me. my wheelchair at the time was a manual thing, with detatchable handles for portability. he slotted the handles in, tipped the chair up to get it over the lip of the door, and was promptly left standing in the door frame with two wheelchair handles in his hand while I was lying on the floor with 2 broken legs, a black eye, and a lump emerging on the back of my head where I had smacked into the threshold.
(Mystery Woo Yay Boy, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 12:52, Reply)

Arm shunt
Friend of a friend. He was a goalkeeper and suffered a hilariously unpleasant broken arm. He steadied his arms to stop the ball and hadn't really taken it's velocity into account. It whacked him so hard that his forearm snapped and shunted alongside itself, giving him a five inch long forearm. He had it reset, it healed and he went back to the goal only for eaxctly the same thing to happen in his first match.

The same mate also had a friend with no arms on his school football team with the loveable nickname of 'Flid'.
(mudflaps, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 12:47, Reply)

At the bonnie age of 10
little old me went off to ride her bicycle. After a while shoelace becomes untied. Said shoelace wraps itself around the pedal becoming tighter and tigter untill it stops the bike. The bike tips over onto the leg on whinch the shoelace has become untied. I try to pull leg free tightening shoelace which is holding my foot in a very uncomfortabnle position it's essentially tied in place. I had to lie on the pavement shouting for help trapped by a bicycle until my family realised I wasn't going to get up.
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 12:44, Reply)

Just remembered another one..
When I was young, like really young 1 or so I dunno I dont actually remember it but this is how my mum tells it, I wasn't old enough to talk anyway. I fell down the stairs in my house, and this is an old house, the stairs were steep, seriously death trap kinda steep. Anyway I fall down and break my arm, my mum the loving caring woman that she is ignores it for a week and only takes me to the doctor when she finally gets fed up of my constant screaming everytime she touched it. Seriously! And I wonder why I have trust issues with women now...
(Hiltono, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 12:39, Reply)

Ruddy left leg
Beginning to think it may just be cursed as it seems to be the one with most injuries. Anyway, starting off small - got pushed off of a treehouse ladder by a girl in preschool (in what could be seen as a general attitude that would repeat itself over the years). Don't know how i managaed to do it, but i broke my left leg.

More recently though, whilst getting onto a bus i misjudged a step, coming down too early my foot flew with tremendous force onto the roadside off the kerb where my heel caught against the gutter with no room to move and my shin hard pressed against the metal bus step with nowhere to move and cue me falling face flat forward and *CRACK*. The bus driver pulled an eyebrow and said - Watch out mate, there's a step there. At the time i could only wheeze a 'ta' as my eyes filled with tears and i limped to the back where i spent the next 15 minutes with my head between my legs gasping for breath.

A week or two after that, whilst indulging in the adrenaline sport of Street Luging which I grew to love and subsequently forced myself to part from (due to the massive injury list). For those of you who don't know what luging is, think an elongated skateboard that you lie on and go down really steep hills really really fast, with nothing to brake with other than your feet. At max speeds we've topped about 100+k's an hour, but I digress.

So i'm having a fairly good run down a hill me and my mates have keenly nicknamed Death Hills (for no apparent reason other than their sheer appearance to the casual observer) and on hitting the bottom of the hill i somehow lost control and flew off the road onto the sidewalk and left leg first into a pole at around 60 k's an hour.

My leg was an assorted palette of greens, blue, purple, black, brown, red and yellow for about a month afterwards.

I decided after a few weeks of limping i'd haul myself to the doctor, and get the bus injury checked while i was at it. Turns out the casing of the bone shattered and allowed blood to seep in between the casing and the bone - leaving me with a purplish indent on my shin for 20 years or more.

God I love Life.
(Xiang, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 11:52, Reply)

Not me...
.. but I guy I knew at Uni worked at the pitch 'n' put in Richmond park. After finishing work he found one of those micro-scooter things that the kids were riding around on at the time (allegedly abandoned) which he decided to keep.

He puts said scooter in the boot of his car from where it makes its way into his flat - where he lives alone. A couple of days later the genteman in question has a large scar on his forehead. Upon questioning him about this, it transpires he was in his flat one evening, a little bored. Instead of beating off like any normal guy would, he decides to swing the scooter round and round in the air above his head "really fast" - at which point it makes contact with numpties skull.
( christopher, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 11:49, Reply)

From yesterdays Metro (free newspaper for people who have to travel by public transport cos they can't afford a car)
sad but rather relevant to this topic... to paraphrase the article an 11 year old boy died at the weekend after falling out of his bunk bed and landing in an open drawer which knocked him unconcious, and because he was stuck in the drawer he suffocated. Talk about unlucky!
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 11:33, Reply)

Baltic Adventure
The incident took place on my stag weekend.

Being a civilized crowd, we decided to go sea kayaking in the Baltic off the coast of Estonia. For the evening before the expedition, my Best Man had organised accommodation, and dinner in a medieval style restaurant, in down town Tallinn.

On the way back from dinner we decided to partake in a karaoke evening at a local Irish bar. I gave a powerful rendition of ‘Light my fire’. On the way back, at about 3am, my bother vaulted over a metal litter bin. My other brother followed him. Then, not to be out done, I followed suit.

And gashed a hole in my wrist.

As we staggered back to the hotel, I kept whining that as blood was pouring out, I really should be taken to a hospital. The others politely told me that it was my fault and I should stop bothering them.

Back at the hotel, I was still oozing blood, so they decided to fix it themselves. They obtained some vodka (to sterilise it), tissue paper, and selotape.

So I drank the vodka, and let them tape the tissue paper to my wrist to staunch the flow of blood. Then I fell asleep.

Next morning, I pressed a friend who works for the Red Cross to help me find medical attention. I can testify that the Estonian medical services are extremely professional, and cheap.

So we went on our Baltic kayak adventure. A photographic record is available at www.cix.co.uk/~gmiddleton/Kayak.htm

Unfortunately, Baltic seawater isn’t the best antiseptic. Back home I went to the hospital to get it checked out, and ended up lying on a bed surrounded by about six doctors wearing masks saying the equivalent of – Oh, you had better watch that, if the infection spreads you could loose all your tendons.

Later, I got married to a lovely lady called Christin. In addition to my ring, my wrist is now adorned with a large ‘C’ shaped scar. Forget piercing or tattoos, I have scarification.
(woodchopper likes chopping wood, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 11:23, Reply)

Too many rugby stories, heres the best....
Sometime back in my University days (93-97) I attended the rugby match which opened the new Banbury Rugby Club House.

This was Banbury 1st XV vs England Veterans.

Within about fifteen minutes theres a huge tackle and pile up on the touch line in front of me and the ref starts unpicking the mess.

The guy at the bottom is an england vet and is lying on his back....

Ref says: "Get up"
He says: "I cant move below the neck...."

So the whole game is called to a halt for half an hour while a special back injuries ambulance comes from Oxford and ferries this guy to A&E.

Later in the evening we are drinking in the bar and the injured guy walks into the bar with a neck brace on.

Looking a little surprised we ask him how he is and why he is now walking.

He says: "I have this dodgy nerve in my neck and if it gets hit right, that happens, but it goes away once the swelling goes down!!!!!".....

Us: "Stop playing you FOOL!"
(doc, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 11:02, Reply)

many an embarrassing
1) got booted by a horse which broke my knee. thought it'd be a good idea to chase a big bastard horse around a farm, with a sheepdog biting at its legs

2) got my thumb trapped in our car boot, and i now have one thumb about a centimetre shorter than the other. stupid mum being so hasty

3) whilst being a little tear-away playing footie on the park after hours we got locked in and had to climb the fence to get out, standard stuff really. but whilst climbing the fence i got my pants stuck on one of the spikes at the top without noticein, went to jump off, did a full 180 spin and was falling head-first off an 8 foot fence onto concrete, so you do the obvious thing, stick your arms out... i was lay on the deck with torn adidas trackies and a shattered elbow, pushed my lower arm into the joint and anhaillated it. had to walk home a mile with my cousins and mates going, shut the fuck up you mard bastard. me actually screaming.

4) last day of high school on the friday, decided thursday night at the su would be appropriate. needless to say 40 quid got pissed up the wall and we were stumbling, so on the walk home we decided to run to the local kebab house, me being in a sorry state looses footing crossing a road and hit the deck. sat there for 5 minutes while my mates ran off for a donner, thought aah fuck i cut my hand, walked down to catch them moaning about my hand. made it home, woke up in the morning in excruciating pain, i had snapped my collar bone all the way through (i think i smashed it on a kerb) and was almost poking out of the skin, and no one noticed? the worst part was people patting me on the back going, i'll miss you mike, twats.

5) went to a mega party a few months back, drank two cocktails, a litre of vodka and a couple of cans of special brew. bladdered wasn't the word. especially when your talking over about two hours. so on the way to get a curry with a mate, a group of 5 guys walk past and one of them decided to hit me, square in the face, being a big bastard i took it in my stride, so my mate was like, leave, hes not done anything else, and theres 5 of them. so again in my stupor thought to myself fuck this, lyed into the first guy, knocked the second on his arse too, and he went back and knocked his newly-wed-that-day-wife over then i took a bit of a kicking. anyway, was alright, few cuts and bruises, got my curry and went back to the party. everyone shocked looks on their faces, i'm sat there tucking into my scran, and there just staring, i goes, oh this, yeah just got battered by 5 guys, everyone goes, aah ok then. proceeded to see the rest of the party out, woke up in the am, suprisingly unhungover. but couldn't move my hand, broke it on the first guys jaw, ouch

6) lastly, the worst one, which i decided to tell a very large group of complete strangers at the ritz in manchester. my mate brought up some embarrasing wanking stories, and these guys joined in, my best one was, at the time we had chipped itv digital meaning we got all the porno channels gratis, so whilst watching titney spheres, i dropped the remote, and being pissed i decided to kneel to get it, but carry on wanking, then couln't be fucked moving, so continued in that position, then when i spilled my man custard i pulled both of my calves so bad i was screaming in pain, to which my dad come running in going whats up? suprisingly i got my pants up and disposed of the tissue, but i'm lay on the floor of my room with porno on, and crying in pain on the floor.

not sorry for length, you wanted stories, i gave them to you
(vegeta, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 11:00, Reply)

Almost put my eye out...
I was in the back yard of my house, cutting up old dead branches to a length small enough to fit into the fire pit. I had a log I was using for a chopping block, and my method was to hold the axe with my right hand while holding the branch with my left. Two chops to make a notch, then turn the branch over to hit the back of the notch and crack it in two.

My son was there and asked me a question. I answered, and the blow to crack the branch was a bit harder than it should have been. Eighteen inches of branch whip around, separate from the rest and strike end first into the outer end of my right eyebrow.

I said a few very bad things, then went inside to find my wife who was getting ready to go to work in the ER at the hospital. She sees me and freaks out (fucking great thing for an ER nurse to do), and insists that rather than go to the hospital three miles away I go with her across the city to work. I told her that if she wasn't going to drive me to the near one, that I would drive myself. She freaks out more and starts howling that I'm in no shape to drive, to which I replied "Oh, and you are?"

Meanwhile my son is following me around, cleaning up the blood I'm dripping on the floor.

I ended up driving myself, and had a huge ugly wound to show everyone for Halloween. And a month later I realized what that dark spot was that hurt in the middle of the wound, and removed a 1/4" splinter that the doctor had missed.

Never marry a nurse.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 7:48, Reply)

I'm getting a
dremel rotary tool tomorrow.expect a LOT of posts.
(That guy with a hat., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 6:01, Reply)

Faced!
Just last July I was doing laps in a hotel pool, when a huge crowd of about 15 tourist kids show up, all supervised by one careless woman who immediately went to sleep on the poolside furniture.

They were all diving off the poolside into the shallow end, throwing each other into the water, and all those other sorts of things children do to aquatically end their own lives.

I tried to stay away from them, but during one lap underwater I caught the shadow the last possible second of some twunt cannonballing right where I was. I swerved to the side at the last moment, and cracked my face full-force into the pool wall.

Somehow I didn't bleed or break anything, but I did have a mother of a bruise down the bridge of my nose for a couple of weeks. It was shaped sort of like California.
( Rob T Firefly talked, like, William Shatner, on, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 5:24, Reply)

Meat is bad for you
I was once doing some hamburgers on the stove for my family, and it being Summer I had no shirt on. Just as I got in a little closer to do some burger flipping, some random grease bubble exploded.

For about a year afterward, I had a dark splatter-shaped burn scar across my abdomen. I had to sheepishly explain my burger-related injury far too often for my tastes.
( Rob T Firefly talked, like, William Shatner, on, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 5:18, Reply)

Embarrassing but Deadly
In seventh grade, my left bollock began hurting I just assumed it was from wanking too much, as I was a horny son-of-a-gun. I noticed also that my spunk was dark and smelly, but I ignored all this, and eventually the damned thing swelled to the point that I couldn't stand to pull up my pants. I bit the bullet and complained to my parents. We went immediately to the doctor. Turns out that it had gotten twisted and its blood circulation had been cut off. The doctor got me into emergency surgery and removed it. From what I was told, it was dead and rotting in the sac, and it was a mirace I had died from poisoning from the rotten thing.
(propain, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 3:51, Reply)

at the tender age of 7
my dad bought me a bmx bike.really spiffy and all that,spiderman padding on the frame to stop all chances of pain,good brakes and big tyres.anyway,going down a hill at about 50 k's i see a car in my way and brake as hard as possible! I slide off the seat onto the padding to protect my groin but somehow,my balls end up underneath me and i sit on them.hard.I actually passed out because of the pain.
(That guy with a hat., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 3:16, Reply)

Just an extract of a post by Emohawk.
"after a while we decided to leave, and make our way to the pub i worked at, which will remain nameless. Upon reaching there, a few of us attempted to leapfrog a postbox, cracking our nuts in the process (discovered groinal bruising in the morning)."


Ouch.
(That guy with a hat., Tue 7 Sep 2004, 3:02, Reply)

Beware of Russians bearing vodka
I was working with this girl and our swearing at work was starting to get out of hand, so we instituted a swear jar. About a month later I resigned from the job there was enough money in the jar for a bottle of vodka (the girl in question was Russian as well).

So we buy the bottle, and head back to my place to drink. My master plan to get her a little drunk and then take advantage of her. I didn't realise but it was also her master plan to get me drunk to take advantage of me.

In half an hour between us, we drank an entire bottle of vodka, as we kept trying to make the other drunker.

Queue passing out in bed together (after both of us had spewed up in different bathrooms).

Being the gentleman that I was, I had put my right arm around her before passing out.

The next morning I found I couldn't move my hand at all. I would try telling my wrist to move, nothing. Didn't think too much of it, thought it would get better on it's own. It didn't. Since this happened at Easter, all the doctor's were shut, so I took myself off to
the hospital emergency room. After telling my story on how it happened to the triage nurse ("Got drunk with this Russian girl, I now can't move my hand"), he thought the story was so funny, I got bumped to the top of the queue.
There's blokes complaining of chest pains, guys who have been beaten up lying in a pool of blood, and I get to go in first.

I tell the doctor, he can't work out what was wrong, so he gets his boss. His boss asks me how fat the girl was. Turns out because I was so drunk, I didn't notice my arm going to sleep, so didn't move. Pinched the nerves in the wrist. I couldn't use my hand for 6 weeks, and worked out the rest of my notice without telling anyone how I had done it (apart from the girl in question).
(Kaer, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 3:02, Reply)

nice scar
I was three years old, playing naked in the garden (like you do) on my little pushalong buggy, which had a hook on the back to attach a trailer.

I fell off the back of the buggy and... well, it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it.

Fortunately, no lasting damage done, as the existence of my son proves.

And I've got a very interesting scar that only a privileged few have ever seen. And my mum.
( smutch, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 2:41, Reply)

No so much embarrassing
..more stupid. K long story as short as I can make it, I have a big scar on my knee to this day and I blame it 100% on the film 'cool runnings' yeh the bobsleigh thing. I was young, probably 10 /11 or there abouts and had just seen this film with my mate, he lives on a hill and owns a go-cart, what the hell did they think was gonna happen? Seriously.

So were sitting at the top of these kinda alley way things, its hard to describe but there was one long alley, maybe 70m which comes out onto a road, then another alley the other side, another 70 odd metres down to some field or other, we didn't think that far ahead. The plan was simple, I was the pusher/brake man and I had a small lump of wood to use as the brake, come the bottom of the first alley I was the stick it under a back wheel and we'd come to a stop. My mate was steering up front.

I give us a good hard push a jump on and were going pretty damn fast already, its a steep hill, we get half way down and I get pretty scared so I go for the brakes, stick the wood under a wheel and snap, wood flies out of my hands like a rocket and land somewhere behind us, 3 seconds later and we emerge from the first ally and shoot quite litterly across this road meer feet away from a passing car, no doubt filling the trousers of said driver.

Anyway we shoot over and hit the second ally, still going, faster and faster. By this point were pretty shit scared and thoughts turn to escape, the bottom of the second ally is comming up and it seems to flatten out abit, I take the oppertunity to jump off sideways, wrapping myself around a badly placed lamppost as I do so, my mate being the pussy he is and seeing this stays on the cart and flies head first at what must be a good 25-30mph into a large bed of stinging nettles, I'm not sure who got the raw deal there really.

Needless to say some concerned resident comes out to save us after hearing our combined screams and drives us back up the hill to my mates house. I think his mum was pretty pissed actually.

So anyway, that hurt...
(Hiltono, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 1:14, Reply)

that sicko's filming it
just before christmas just gone i decided that it was a good idea to try and jump off a 5ft high piece of concreat on a mountain board. this resulted in a dislocated shoulder for me. the thing is it was lunch time in the town centre.
my friend was filming and as we waited for the ambulance several ppl where disgusted by my friend with a camera. one such person we over heard said " look that sicko is filming it!). when the ambulance came my "sicko" friend had no trouble showing the video to all the medics who had a jolly good laff while i was in agony.
(mr_brett When the keyboardist breaks his face, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 0:39, Reply)

Stupid 'flu
When I was about 12, I had the 'flu. It was the standard feeling-like-hell, always too hot or too cold, influenza bit.

I mostly awoke in the middle of one night, in a puddle of sweat, feeling far too warm. So, in my addled state, I decided to open the window, which was within easy reach, right next to my bed.

This was a very old rattly window, and some synapse misfired as I placed my palm flat against the glass. Instead of pushing upward, I pushed forward.

I remember my hand going through the glass, resulting in a nice breeze. I also remember waking up later that morning wondering where the puddle of blood came from.

Ever since, I have an inch-long half-inch-wide scar on my left wrist which always prompts people to think I tried and failed at suicide.
( Rob T Firefly talked, like, William Shatner, on, Tue 7 Sep 2004, 0:09, Reply)