rubbish outfit
Met a bloke at my sister's party who turned up in just his underwear.

Said I: 'what have you come as?'

Said he: 'A premature ejaculation'

i.e he came in his pants.

thank you and goodnight.
(fennbot, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 14:52, Reply)

Oh dear god.
I just remembered. When I was ten, my mother used to force me to go to church on a weekly basis, despite the fact I was very bright for my age, & was able to fully articulate exactly why I was an atheist.

One year, she ends up on the church Easter float committee, & has the bright idea of dressing all the kids under eleven years old up as rabbits. Being ten, this included me. However, there was a significant age gap between me an the next oldest kid in this age group. Three whole years, to be precise.

I felt like a right prat. To make matters worse, this was in a small island community, & the entire populace turned out to line the streets. Including every kid at my school.

Imagine the sheer embarrasment of a known & proud athiest being forced to walk in a church parade, whilst being at least a foot taller than all the other rabbits, in front of just about everyone I knew. Thanks mum.

Therapist, please.
( Sylia Stingray is pilfering the biscuits on, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 14:46, Reply)

Ok, on second thought - Duct tape
I went to the Ren Faire in Texas. I wore a dress I'd made myself, with a wondrously tight bodice/boustier thing. Yeah. I had to duct tape myself, as I didn't own a corset. Lots and lots of duct tape. We'd started drinking early.

Ren Faire, as far as I know, is all about how many bottles of $3 red wine you can chug in a 24 hour period while singing the bawdiest songs you can think of at the top of your lungs and eating questionable meat served on a skewer (or conversely giant turkey legs).*

It doesn't help when your husband gets frisky round 3am and literally TEARS into your costume to get at you - complete with ripping duct tape noises and screams of pain/ecstacy - in the middle of a campsite shared by several hundred people... and you pass out drunk, with one breast hanging free of it's tapey prison, laying halfway out of the entrance to a collapsed tent (all that strain with the dress removal, I imagine).

Ugh.

*That's what they told me, at least.



Yeah, so noone's ever invited me to a fancy dress party, sorry.
(Ecclesia, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 14:38, Reply)

My sister's bridesmaid dresses... (count as costumes, right? heh)
...were actually quite stunning. We had gorgeous strapless red floor-length gowns... No questionable colours or big floppy bows were to be found anywhere. Instead, the skirts were held out by what I can only describe as industrial-strength sandpaper-material.

After the ceremony the reception was held in a crowded veteran's bar, and about an hour in, my legs were chaffed to the point of bleeding. Lucky for me, my estranged husband had shown up directly before the ceremony, so I had someone to bitch to...

I'd gone outside to the car with my husband to have a smoke and get a bit of stress relief, and made my way back inside with a bowlegged gait, in an attempt not to exacerbate my already paining legs. Cue my father and his best friend of 40-some odd years pulling me aside for a wink and a nudge, then grabbing my sister to point out my walk and wink at and nudge her as well, and THEN grab everyone within reach to wink at and nudge about how naughty I'd been.

I became the butt of a joke about going outside for a quick screw in the car... in front of my grandparents & all sorts of Southern US bible-thumping folk... all because I couldn't admit to my sister that the dress she'd picked was tearing up my legs.

Strangely enough, the husband wasn't around to get pulled in...
(Ecclesia, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 14:31, Reply)

Lou and andy
First post here, im the chap in the chair.
rubber hat - 2.99
jumper - 4.00
genuine disabled person showing up to the party - priceless


( HelloIamAdam and Adam is my name, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 14:29, Reply)

Breakfast 2
Oh yeah, food party. I wore a a hawaiian shirt. Said i was a pizza

That's right, no ladies for me
(bendyness shows you on the brick where he licked her, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 14:16, Reply)

Fancy dress chronicles...
okay they may be a bit small.. or a bit rubbish.. but here are the chronicles of salbo baggins fancy dress escapades (most of them) since the small age of 17..



mad hatter - complete with teapot for halloween, was an excellent way to get free drinks by requesting that people poured just a little bit into my teapot, then i would drink it out of the spout just for them!! worked into someone spiked it with jelly beans and i choked and spat it all out...^_^



barbie and ken party.. was told at very short notice.. so i got my gangster outfit, bought a crap toy gun on the way and drew a tash and beardedness!then i proclaimed the arrival of 'don ken!'many things happened, but thats another qotw altogether.. :D



Yet another fancy dress party of the third kind? yeah i was jessica rabbit, just coz i have red hair and i could...my heels broke off on my shoes though :-( thank god i bought my trainers mwahahahaha..



most recent haloween - i spandexised myself and went as a kittie...miaow!

i [heart] fancy dress parties...

The mad hatter i believe was most sucessful..
(Salbo_baggins, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 13:42, Reply)

Another underground station...
carrying on from quantum sheep's 'cockfosters', a mate went to a similar party where there was a chap who had crudely drawn a large beer label on a plain white t-shirt.


he was Maida Vale.

I acutally laughed when I first heard this. Sorry.
(jam and cheese, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 13:32, Reply)

Dad's birthday
When I was a young lad, my dad decided to have a fancy dress party / meal at home for his 40th birthday. The theme was quite simply, "nautical".

Ten of mum and dad's closest friends arrive at our house around 7:30pm for a seafood banquet, the dining table fully set, dressed quite magnificently as pirates, mermaids, popeye, sailors etc. Quite a lot of effort went into the costumes.

At 8:00pm, after a drink or two, 3 taxis pull up outside the door. People start getting slightly suspicious. Unbeknown to them, the taxis were there to take the fancy dressed partygoers to the most expensive seafood restaurant in town!

They got plenty of attention from other diners, but a great night was had by all.
(philmc, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 13:01, Reply)

Theme nights
I live in a posh town where people hardly ever do anything silly like dressing up. Well except my friends and I. Our theme nights have included;
Bad Taste night - Going to TK Maxx and buying the most hideous things we could find.

Pirate - All dressing as pirates with lots of shouting "Argh!! me hearties!" and drunken running around. Unfortunatly the blowup parrot died and our swords got taken off us after sword fights in the club.

Hawaiian - Everyone in sandles, shorts and hawaiian shirts (got some very funny looks) Highlight of the was night drawing muscles on my skinny friend and getting two fat ugly girls to feel him up. He was wasted, he loved it.


ahhh good times!
(Fishbone-didi, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 12:57, Reply)

Some twat
talked me into going to his Fancy dress party with its rocky Horror theme, I of course turned up as a shocking tranny, what did the others wear? Fuck all of course.
( hypnochimp, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 12:51, Reply)

Was a friends house party
house was filling up, when a bloke dressed up as the KKK arrived, full white hood, the works. Nervous glances as to who might be under the hood, as we knew at least one black fella was going to come to the party.

KKK man removed the hood, to reveal our black mate.

Best costume of the night! (except the absolute hottie dressed in revealing belly dancer costume)
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 12:46, Reply)

Ah, those lost fancy dress parties of youthful yore
I remember two from my youth - a friend who turned up at a fancy dress party wearing a tshirt with the tv test pattern painted on it and refused to do anything but buzz quietly all day. And another where the same dude came (with his brother) as a washing line, with a long piece if twine tied between them. Oh the oddity of youth. He is now an optometrist in Kabul. Honestly.
(SmoothOtter, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 12:41, Reply)

Crude, but VERY funny....
I was invited to a fancy dress party. The theme of the evening was 'songs', ie everyone had to arrive in attire depicting a song from the past and we had to try and guess which song each of us represented.

Now, being a priest I have many, many black clothes and I decided I could ruin one of my old shirts for the occasion so I bought a small tub of white emulsion, watered it down slightly and splashed it liberally across the front of my old shirt.

Then I got onto my computer and typed up a badge for myself. The badge said, "My name is Eileen, How may I help?".

You've guessed it - I had gone as the Dexys Midnight Runners' classic hit, "Come on Eileen".

I thank you.
( Fr_Jerry_McGwier looked over both shoulders at, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 12:33, Reply)

Bad taste
A couple of years ago, a friend went to a bad taste fancy dress party oop north where there was a prize for the costume displaying the least taste and decency.

The winners? Two blokes who came in trainers, jeans and man utd shirts, one with 'Holly' on the back, the other 'Jessica'.
(morning person, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 12:18, Reply)

Halloween
Halloween was fast approaching as were the customary fancy dress parties and I *really* left it late to get my costume. The night before I trawled 24 hour Tesco for ANYTHING I could go dressed up as.

Found a party pack of Halloween plates etc., went as a Halloween party table! Ace!

Even had a little party blower and everything.
(iwantacone, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 11:52, Reply)

Never leave your costume til the last minute.
At the tender age of 8, it didn't occur to me to tell my mum that the party I was going to was fancy dress until a couple of hours before I was due to arrive. Panicking and angry, she dressed me up in a wooly jumper, wooly hat, scarf and gloves and stuck a home made sign around my neck saying 'COLD'.

That's right, I turned up to the fancy dress party as a cold person.
(tallulah kittiwake, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 11:39, Reply)

My politics teacher
once told the class about a fancy dress party he'd been to with the theme 'Dress up as an underground station'

He looked around, and saw a guy with what he described as an 'huge appendage made of beer cans'

Closer inspection proved that they were indeed beer cans, specifically fosters.


Ah.



Cockfosters.
(Quantum Sheep was going to type something clever here...but...oh, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 11:29, Reply)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...I'm sitting her shuddering at the memory
Oh dear oh dear oh dear....
Reading these posts seems to have stirred up a memory I thought erased forever...

When I was a wee nipper, I was invited to a fancy dress party. With a theme. Remember this. There was a theme. Which was Robin Hood et assorted characters. This theme was on the invitation.

So what does my mum dress me up as? A knight? Ol' Robin himself?


No


Only a bloody hockey player. A hockey player. A fucking hockey player. I *had* recently started playing it at school, so, even more embarrassingly, I had the full kit.

And my mum had made another mistake. She dropped me off an hour late.

So imagine walking into this party, an hour late, a room full of maid marians and friar tucks and robin fucking hood, as a hockey player. I had to tell everyone I had just got back from a hockey match.

And then my mum picked me up an hour late as well.


Oh, how I cried.

w00t, First Post!
And apologies for length-but everyone knows it's the girth that matters
(Quantum Sheep was going to type something clever here...but...oh, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 11:24, Reply)

My ex-boyfriend
Once turned up to a fancy dress party naked.

He was asked to leave.
(Pachey, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 11:18, Reply)

My one and only Fancy Dress
I'm a fan of fancy dress but as I am a hermit all I have to live is my one fancy dress party. It was a jockey mate of mine's housewarming, fancy dress and cocktail party. I went as a Mormon, easy - white short sleeve shirt, cheap black tie, black pants and shoes, little name tag which said Elder David. Even rode to the party on my push bike for total authenticity. Disturbingly the memory blackens. Somewhat later someone in a Mormon outfit bought a lawn mower into the kitchen, started it and commenced to mow the lino. This caused much anguish to the jockey, he has not invited me back, not that I'd go now anyway. Also I believe I drank some of the 2 stroke mower fuel, mistaking it for a cocktail.
(rodgerroop, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 11:13, Reply)

Bad Tasty Party...
A friend turned up at a "bad-taste party" wearing a hideous frilly shirt, tight trousers and the words "Princess Diana was a cunt" scrawled across his back. She'd only died the week before.

He was really popular with the ladies that evening...
(DrGonzo, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 11:06, Reply)

Misunderstanding
Misunderstanding

Went out to visit a friend at Univeristy at Santa Cruz in California about 8 years ago; very chilled town, great climate etc. I'm a Brit and he is Spanish but lived in the UK for some years.

Some friends of his invite us to a party on the Saturday night - fancy dress. Cool we thought, head down to the charity/thrift store for outfits, deciding on FBI type agents as a theme. Find our requisite dark glasses, water pistols, etc... get dressed up and head over to the party.

Cue our entrance, a dive through the front door as soon as it is starting to be opened, water pistols brandished/fired and getting everyone to "freeze, agents J and P here"

Cue silence.

Cue 40 people in their best evening wear - suits/long dresses staring at us in silence. Some of them with newly acquired water marks from our water pistols.

Right party. Wrong understanding of fancy dress.

They meant your SMARTEST dress and not FANCY dress....

Still, it broke the ice and much fun had by all. (Apart from the little old lady next door who thought the place was being raided for drugs... Oops.)

No apologies for length.
(morse, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 10:54, Reply)

Pernod
Many years ago a friend of mine went to a fancy dress party at our local pub dressed as a bottle of pernod, he had made a 6 foot plaster of paris bottle with a hole to look out of, this was great until he couldnt hold his beer any longer and was too pissed to get out of the costume, we layed him down and started to pull him out but it was too late he had soiled himself pmsl
(Dazzer, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 10:54, Reply)

teabag
Aged about 7 I constructed a square from garden canes and wrapped it in a sheet painted with brown spots. I was meant to be a teabag but it looked like I was wearing a lumpy poo stained mattress.
(toadrunner, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 10:24, Reply)

Breakfast
At a party in Brighton where the theme was food a chum of mine came down from London with no dressing. So, he borrowed a white t-shirt, went outside and smashed a belisha beacon off a zebra crossing, cut it in half and hung it over his neck.

Hey presto, a fried egg. He didn't have to buy a drink all night with that one
(bendyness shows you on the brick where he licked her, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 10:23, Reply)

Curis
Dude you look more like the guy out of Electric Six than Hitler in that photo!
(One_Winged_Angel Ich Dien, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 10:23, Reply)

Big lightsaber you have ... hrrrrmmm
Our school semi formal is fancy dress. That basicially equals 60% of the girls strutting around in slutty get ups.

I went in Star Trek uniform which consisted of a concerningly short skirted Starship Uniform dress and knee high black heeled boots.

I had more fun with the Star Wars boys though.
I put the mad hatter up to it.

(Dust Bunny your little friend under the fridge, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 9:26, Reply)

My eyes! My eyes!
Thanks Apeloverage, am I the only one thats more than a little disturbed by the picture of the KKK child? Not because its a child whose entire world would have been destroyed by its moronic parents. Just for the fact that the caption makes it seem like a small child is saying "Turn me over!" That could only be more fucking disturbing if you added "Baby!" to the end.

Oh my eyes, damn these eyes! Stupid racist paedos.
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Tue 17 Jan 2006, 9:26, Reply)

Two Stories for the price of one!
I once got a bus dressed as santa. At Halloween

I asked for a return to lapland and the driver didn't know what to do, poor bastard.

another time back in my school days i woke up one morning and remebered that there was a fancy dress compition on, totally unprepaird, my wonderful mum drssed me up in a an old coat and hat and bandgaged my face and hands up.

THE INVISIABLE MAN!

I won first price. quite funny coz some people had hired fairy dresses and princess dresses for like £30 for teh day and the prize was a £15 book token!
(drcreek, Tue 17 Jan 2006, 4:54, Reply)