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This is a question Fears and Phobias

I'll level with you. I'm really freaked out by loose buttons. I'm fine while they're doing their job, but once they're free the evil bastards are a major threat to my life. Tell us what spooks you, and how you cope. Also: church bells, doner kebab salads, death.

(, Thu 11 Sep 2014, 17:18)
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He's gonna hate me for posting this...
Mate at work, on the Ambos, has a proper, full blown phobia of banana skins. Bananas are fine when zipped up, it's just the skins.
Anyway, long story, short.
He's working on an Ambo with a couple of female paramedics (it's called third-manning; don't ask), when one of them drops a banana skin on the floor between the front seats, intending to dispose of it later. He's driving & visibly flinches, so she asks why? Like an idiot, he tells the two lasses about his phobia.
Fast forward to later in the shift. They're in a large care home & he's sent back to the truck to fetch the stretcher. After a while, when there's still no sign of him, one of the lasses says she'd better go look for him. The care home manager tells her they can look on the cctv, because they have a camera on the front door. Switching it on they are greeted by the sight of him just as he discovers the banana skin, tucked into his jacket pocket.
I think the phrase was "dancing like an epileptic apache"
Sadly no video recorder was attached to the cctv.
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 10:15, closed)
Keywords: 'care home'

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 10:17, closed)
Alright, Rolf Fartbelm.

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 10:20, closed)
git in the fackin ambo, mite

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 10:48, closed)
I thought so too, but profile suggests otherwise

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 15:51, closed)
The delay in care provision didn't impact on the patient,
and the ambulance crew weren't reprimanded for their bullying of their colleague?
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 10:45, closed)
bullying
Clearly you've never worked in the Ambo service.
Bullying is endemic from the top down.
It's like a 1940's public boys school, with only slightly less buggery.
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 15:34, closed)
Is it called third-manning because there's three people?
Wild guess.
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 10:58, closed)
Wow, how did you extrapolate that answer and you didn't even ask.

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 10:59, closed)
It's astonishing, isn't it?

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 11:55, closed)
Four star REF work right here.

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 12:19, closed)
*pointlessly clicks*

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 14:09, closed)
Strewth! What a galah

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 11:02, closed)
Is "ambulance" really such a difficult word, you colonial cretin?

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 11:49, closed)
Maybe it's so he can put 'ambodextrous' on his CV.

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 11:50, closed)
Hang on, ambulance!
I thought he was talking about Ted Nugent.
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 11:52, closed)
I LIKED THIS SONG BACK IN 68 AND IT STILL ROCKS, BUT IT WAS THE WHOLE PACKAGE, NOT JUST THE GUITAR LICK. BUT IN 2013, FUCK SHITPANTS NUGENT. HE IS ALL TOUGH, BUT WHEN IT WAS HIS TIME T5O HAVE BULLE4TS WIZ BY HIS HEAD, HE SHIT HIMSELF HERE AT HOME.
FUCK HIM AND FUCK HIS DENIALS. EVEN IF IT ISN'T TRUE, IF YOU ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO TELL THAT STORY, NOW YOU OWN IT SHITPANTS. NO GETTING AWAY FROM IT.
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 11:58, closed)
come along if you dare

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 12:29, closed)
I would put Shambo in an Ambo.

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 12:26, closed)
Welcome to the Shambulance.
Bow chicka bow wow.
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 12:27, closed)
I see what you did there. Well, apart from the 'bow chicka bow wow' bit.

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 12:33, closed)
it's my life soundtrack chicka bow

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 16:07, closed)
ambo
I have a phobia about saying ambulence
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 15:35, closed)
and a phobia of spelling "ambulance"?

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 15:58, closed)
spell check
ffs do I have to explain even simple sarcasm?
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 16:05, closed)
you seem to be confusing "sarcasm" and "illiteracy"

(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 16:42, closed)
I got it. The theme is phobias and fears (one and the same thing but letting that one slide)
and you said that you had a phobia about ambulence (lol lol lol)
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 19:33, closed)
Cool ... you've spelled a word wrong that's in the post you're replying to.
That's some genuinely Oz-level stoopid.
(, Fri 12 Sep 2014, 16:06, closed)

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